Manhattan

Latina: People are always saying I look Asian. Do you see it?
Asian guy: Well, you know, Mexicans look a lot like Asians.
White girl: Yeah, they have those same narrow eyes.
Asian guy: And they’re short.

–Amy’s Bread, Bleecker Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Crazy guy: Jodie Foster is a top notch actress!
Girl: Okay.
Crazy guy: Julia Roberts is going down!
Girl: Are they going to fight?

–Shubert Theater, West 44th Street

Loud guy: They’re both really pretty.
Girl: Yeah, sure.
Loud guy: Sure, they’ve got busted noses, but they’re still really pretty.

–Chola Restaurant, 58th St, between 2nd & 3rd Ave

Hipster girl: Hi, how are you?
Dressy-casual guy: Hi, you look great!
Hipster girl: Thanks. You look like you’re from Oklahoma.

–Makor/Steinhart Center, W 67th St

Overheard by: Alex

Girl #1: Oh my god. My boyfriend just cheated on me.
Girl #2: Holy shit! Which one?

–Olive & Bette’s, W Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: striped shirt

Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing!

–Fordham

A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are.

–Varick Street

Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz

Girl #1: Stuart kissed me full on the mouth.
Girl #2: Did he mean it?
Girl #1: He said it was an accident; he was going for my cheek.
Girl #2: That happened to me once when I was kissing my father.

–St. Marks Place

Woman #1: I was selling some stuff on eBay, but got scared.
Woman #2: Why?
Woman #1: Because they kept asking too many questions.
Woman #2: Who?
Woman #1: The buyers.
Woman #2: Like what?
Woman #1: They wanted to know if the Louis Vuitton bag and belt I was selling was real. It freaked me out.
Woman #2: So what happened?
Woman #1: I ended the sale, because I had two people watching me and I got scared.
Woman #2: Watching you?
Woman #1: Yeah, they can watch to see who bids and how much they bid and then they can try to make a last minute bid.
Woman #2: Okay, but why didn’t you sell the stuff?
Woman #1: I was scared and this guy kept asking me to send pictures.

–Amy Ruth’s, West 116th Street

Overheard by: Ann-Marie Nicholson

Dude #1: So I’m totally fighting with Mark–
Dude #2: You mean physically fighting, or metaphysically fighting?
Dude #1: Metaphysically. But does it make a difference?
Dude #2: Well, dude, you can’t get punched in the face, metaphysically.

–West 3rd & Mercer

Overheard by: Dev Nille

Woman on cell: So, your man coming with you tonight, or he still locked up?

–42nd & Park

Overheard by: June L.

Hobo collecting bottles: Man, I’m getting too skinny, I gotta go back to jail.

–87th & 2nd

Overheard by: Wagner crew