Movies

Please Silence Your Phone During the Wednesday One-Liners

Preppy girl: I really loved that movie. I thought it was titillating… And not just because there was cock and balls. I don’t care about that.

–Third Avenue

Guy to self: Brokeback mountain… Starring Hillary Clinton!

–Herald Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Worst Movie Ever

Doofette: I mean like I know it got the Oscar and all, but I thought "No Country for Old Men" was pretty boring. I have to admit though the choreography was amazing.

–SoHo

Thug, peddling pile of DVDs: Ghetto Blockbuster! I am your ghetto Blockbuster! I got movies, CDs, porno. [Another group of customers walks in.] I got that action, comedy, romance and I got that pussy! I am your friendly neighborhood ghetto Blockbuster.

–24 Hour McDonalds, Water & Moore

Overheard by: BigKahuna&BigRed

Creepy hipster: You’d think you can’t have sex to "Silence of the Lambs"…

–Huron St, Greenpoint

Overheard by: sweetchuck

Dude on cell: If you like murder, you’re gonna love this movie!

–48 Bus

Whatever Happened to Randy Newman?

Dad: What’s this movie about? Squirrels?
Son, sarcastically: Yeah, evil squirrels. That’s why they call it Happy Feet.
Dad: I get my kids’ movies confused. But they all have a hedgehog. [About hip hop song intro] Those aren’t lyrics — he’s just rhyming.

–Lincoln Plaza IMAX

What Does Being a Teenager Feel Like, Alex?

Male student #1: It was like that movie where Reese Witherspoon gets finger-banged on the roller coaster.
Male student #2: Oh, yeah, definitely.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Curious, yet horrified

Po-tay-toe, Po-tah-toe

Guy #1: So in that movie Cloverfield I heard it was a monster.
Guy #2: Yeah, all the blogs say it's a monster. That would be totally funny if it was Britney Spears.

–M15 Bus

Don’t Waste Your Limited Attention Span, Sweetie

Salesgirl: Can I help you?
Teen in short skirt and chewing gum: Um, hi. I’m looking for a book called, um, um, ‘The Da-something Code.’
Salesgirl: The Da Vinci Code?
Teen in short skirt and chewing gum: Yeah, something.

–Barnes & Noble

Well Baby, I Went Down and Got It For You

Guy: Hey, isn’t that the painting from the Titanic?
Girlfriend: That is not even a possibility.
Guy: [looks confused] Well then, it’s one of them. And look! It was made in 1917!

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Yeah, Attack of the 5-inched Pipelaying Retard

Pipelayer #1: I need four more inches.
Pipelayer #2: If I had four more inches, I’d be makin’ movies.

–Bergen Street station

Before She Starts Stripping Again.

Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too, mama.
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.

–Park Avenue & 25th St

Well, Nobody’s Perfect

Teacher: Who remembers Some Like It Hot?
Student: Isn’t that the one where in the end they’re all on a boat and it blows up?

–Cinema Studies class, NYU

Overheard by: Andrew Jacobs

And Sometimes Pre-Mustard

Film professor: What kind of movie causes a bodily reaction?
Student:… Pornography?
Film professor: And what does pornography cause your body to produce?
Student, after long pause: Bodily… fluids?
Film professor: Otherwise known as… Cum!

–Columbia Universtiy

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