Guy #1: Is this Broadway and Houston?
Guy #2: Yes. I think we're in SoHo.
Guy #3: No, this is just Ho.
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: NewYorkerNick
Guy #1: Is this Broadway and Houston?
Guy #2: Yes. I think we're in SoHo.
Guy #3: No, this is just Ho.
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: NewYorkerNick
Gray Line tour guide: … And then I looked up into one of these fabulous brownstone buildings and there was a naked woman. She did a dance for the entire bus. Completely naked. Eye contact and everything. That’s why I never look into windows anymore…
–The Village
Girl to friend: As long as they don’t know that you’re naked, it’s okay.
–68th St
Crazy guy: One… Two… Three… Naked!
–A train
Overheard by: quietly laughing to herself
Man to another: In my neighborhood, once you walk past Avenue A, none of the men are wearing shirts.
–47th & 10th
Overheard by: MuffinPuffin
Man to landlord, in Polish: There is this naked woman and naked man constantly running around the basement at night. We just can’t let this guy keep doing this.
–Nassau Ave
Overheard by: Izabela
Excited chick on cell: I just took my shirt off! In a room full of people talking their shirts off!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Tourist, tapping man on shoulder: Excuse me sir, would you mind pointing me to the Empire State Building, please?
Man, pointing at the sky: See that building? The shiny big one, with all the pretty lights? Walk straight towards it.
Tourist: Thank you, my good man!
–Downing St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Emma
Stupid tourist girl: Where you heading?
Not-so-stupid tourist, pointing to Empire State Building: We're going there.
Stupid tourist girl: What's that?
Not-so-stupid tourist: Seriously? It's the Empire State Building.
Stupid tourist girl: How am I supposed to know? I've never been here before!
–E 14th St
Headline by: thirsy
Runners-Up:
· “Hey! There’s a Giant Drag Queen in the Harbor!” – Nick Pollotta
· “Now Tell Me About the Big Shiny Blue Thing in the East” – Nick Pollotta
· “That’s What You Said When We Went to the Bathroom” – BabakganoosH
· “Why Are All These Cars Yellow?” – pbump
· “Yet She Expects Me to Find the Clitoris” – joe
· “You Mean Earth, Right?” – aliensareamongus
Daughter, looking at “NJ Transit” sign: Why does it say we’re in New Jersey?!
Mother: Aren’t we?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jay
Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!
–F Train
Hipster mom: How much further are we going?
Five-year-old savant son: Well, it’s the weekend so the G train is making all the local F stops. That means six more stations from Hoyt-Schermerhorn — Jay Street-Borough Hall, Bergen Street, Carroll Street, Smith and Ninth Streets, Fourth Avenue and Seventh Avenue.
–G train
Overheard by: He even pronounced them correctly
Fat tourist: Exactly, like, I know Disney trivia, but of course I don't know general trivia.
–Ellis Island
Overheard by: Cat
Female tourist with Irish accent, reading leaflet: Jaysas lads, it only took them 14 months to build this, I wonder if it's okay like.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: joanie
Tourist gazing up at the Empire State Building: They sure could fit a lotta hay in there!
–Outside Empire State Building
Overheard by: Duppy
Tourist: Where do they keep the cemeteries around here?
–Next to St. Paul's Cemetery/Church
Female tourist: Oh my god, I can't believe we're on the 6… Just like J.Lo.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Courtney C.
Overzealous British tourist father, pointing at map: Okay, everyone. We're passing by Madison Square Gardens. They must be lovely at this time of year. We're on the Metropolitan Line, see? The Met Line. Just like in London. We're going to get off at Rector Street. It's the last stop before Brooklyn, so if we miss our stop, we'll be in Brooklyn, and we don't want that! Look, now there are no more numbers. When there are no more numbers in the station names, that means we're at the bottom of the underground. Oh, look, it's Chinatown. This is where all the orientals get off.
–R Line
Overheard by: office peon is one of those Orientals…
Female tourist: Know what? Fuck it, I just want to go back to my hotel room and take a shit.
–Canal St
Girl #1: She said to meet her in front of some type of iron building.
Girl #2: What’s that?
Girl #1: I don’t know. Some building made out of iron. What’s that building made out of?
–23rd & Broadway
Conductor: This is a downtown C train making all stops. Spring Street, World Trade Center, we go there. We do all the stops. Get on this train! [Pause.] Hey, you, still on the platform — did you not hear what I said? Why didn’t you get on?
Man: I’m waiting for the A.
Conductor: I’m going wherever the A’s going. Get on my train!
–C train
