Boy #1: Oh shit, that’s where they filmed Home Alone 2 look!
Boy #2: What the fuck? what you talking about?
Boy #1: The hotel. The little white kid stayed at this hotel and shit.
Boy #2: What a fag.
Boy #1: Fuck you.
–Central Park, in front of Plaza Hotel
Conductor: Due to a problem at 14th St-Union Square, this train will be going express to Brooklyn Bridge. This train will not stop at any local stops. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. Switch to an uptown 6 train for all local stops. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. The next stop will be Brooklyn Bridge. Brooklyn Bridge is next.
Man: What was the next stop?
–Downtown 6 train
Overheard by: Petey Mills
Bimbette #1: I swear, her apartment has the best view in the whole city.
Bimbette #2: Really? What’s the view of?
Bimbette #1: You can see the Empire State Building and, uh, that other building. It’s really great.
Bimbette #2: When were you there?
Bimbette #1: I wasn’t, she just told me about it.
–STK, Little West 12th St
Overheard by: I’m convinced
Man: When I look up at all these buildings and I think about the people who live in them, I only have one question: Where do they all barbeque?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Susan Elliott
Guy: James Blunt is my homie. He gets me laid, on occasion.
–Men’ s room, MTV Time Square office.
Overheard by: najork
Woman: Oooh, now we’re in the other Times Square — the one with all the lights and stuff.
–Times Square shuttle
Overheard by: notrob
Local: Now, the Manhattan Bridge is just a block or two that way.
–Times Square
Overheard by: A tourist that ISN’T stupid
Conductor: Because of construction, the N train will be running on the N line.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Mars the Infomage
Woman: Coming here is like going to a dirt Disneyland.
–Time Square
European tourist: This Time Square… Does it… Does it… Exist?
–42nd St & 7th Ave
Voice on loudspeaker: Ladies and gentlemen, someone has lost a pair of ladies’ red-rimmed eyeglasses. That’s a pair of women’s glasses with red frames, looking for you. Get it? Cause they’re glasses, looking for…Oh, nevermind.
–Queens County Farm Museum
Overheard by: amused visitor
Girl: I only like white wine in Paris
–Union Pool
Overheard by: Andrea
Hobo: I am a Vietnam veteran. I cannot work due to the effects of Agent Orange. Agent Orange was used in Vietnam to kill all the vegetarians.
–Uptown R train
Cop: So what does the red light mean, dat you gotta come to a complete stop?
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Goueznou
Student to tourists: No, no. The black-draped building is Silver. The white building is Brown. See?
–Broadway & Mercer
Overheard by: booksandlibretti
Coast guard officer: Oh darn, I should have worn my pink coast guard hat today.
–South Street Seaport, Avon Breast Cancer Walk
Tourist: Is that train going to 18th street?
New Yorker: Yes.
Doors close.
New Yorker: But you’re not.
–Union Square Station, 4/5/6 platform
Overheard by: amused MD
Mom: No, this isn’t our stop.
Small boy: Where are we?
Mom: Christopher Street.
Small boy: Isn’t that where all the gays are?
–PATH train, Christopher St
Overheard by: kris
WASP: Do you know if they’re putting on an express train for the US Open?
Tourist: Um, no, but that’s where I’m going, too.
WASP: I know, that’s why I asked you.
Tourist: How did you know that’s where I’m going?
WASP: Because you’re white. Why else would you be going to Queens?
–7 train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Tennis Fan
Fashionista: I’m not ready for a rich man.
–East Village
Woman: Yeah, he’s got money. Like, when Michael Jackson tried to buy the Elephant Man? That kind of money. Giraffe money!
–Uptown 6 train
3-Year-Old: My daddy makes a lot of money so my mommy and me can live the life we want to live.
–Playground, DUMBO
Overheard by: grimrosary
Salesperson: Yeah, so he was like, “That’s what it means to be rich. I can buy whatever makes me and my fiancé happy. I can buy her all the Harry Potter memorabilia that she wants.”
–Paragon Sports, 18th & Broadway
Overheard by: LSB
Wall-Street-Intern chick: So, if the weather is bad here in the Hamptons I may just fly to California or South Beach for the weekend. Hopefully nobody at work will need me because I may have to get a flight on Friday morning. You know, I have to do what’s fiscally feasible for me…and by “me”, I mean my parents.
–D train
Overheard by: I hope she reads this, and then dies…
Male customer to deli worker: Do you know where can I get a fake Rolex with counterfeit money?
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: Hobo Hank
Little girl, talking for a teddy bear with a stocking over its head, to another teddy bear: Give me all your money!
–Goodwill
Guy on cell: I don’t know, now she won’t sleep in the bedroom ’cause of the mobster, and she needs a ride to the Hamptons.
–7th & Ave A
Overheard by: Analt
Guy: He’ll be here in another twenty minutes. He’s sleeping in the back of a car.
–74th & 2nd
Overheard by: Wendy
Teenage girl: I know it’s so wrong, but I’m seriously lusting for luxury cars. I just want to lick them. I want to hump those leather seats!
–WTC Path station
Overheard by: Carine
Suburban boy: Oh my God, driving in the city is most fun thing in the entire world!
–Downtown R train
Overheard by: confused
Man: I had a bad night tonight. I stole a car, got two tickets. I shouldn’t-a stole that car.
–Bodega, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Flasteppi
Drunk guy on cell: If you don’t have my money by 12 tomorrow, I’m gonna get your mother’s car and your sister’s car…I still love your sister, too, but you better have my money.
–Union Turnpike-Kew Gardens E/F station
Young woman: Where did all these cars come from? New York doesn’t have cars.
–35th & 5th
Overheard by: Frank & Alex
