Girl on cell: Hey [Kate], it’s [Angie]. I was just wondering what the fuck I did last night. Call me later.
–Henry Street & Love Lane, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: sarah
Girl on cell: Apparently, I took my pants off.
–Queens Blvd & 59th St, Queens
Overheard by: Nina
Guy: I might move to the South Bronx/Washington Heights. SoBro is getting gentrified.
I’d like to get there before all the hipsters move in.
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Girl: Just start saying it, they’ll think you’re cool. It’s New York.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Guy: Man, we gotta get you on a J-Date sometime soon.
–53rd & 1st
Overheard by: Pam, Lauren, and Gloria
Limo driver: If you were my girl I’d quit lying and cheating.
–55th between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: turned off
Irate man on cell: It’s all the same. Because Art and Commerce merged in ’92. [Pause, yelling on the other end of the line] That’s when the NWA album came out.
–38th & 6th
Overheard by: Erin Sparling
Woman: How am I supposed to know if I like it?
–181st Invitational Exhibition of Contemporary American Art, National Academy Museum, 5th Ave
Overheard by: Beeeej
Middle-aged Latino woman to younger black woman: Listen, I got rights, ok? I mean I’ll do the time for it, I don’t care. On this train you gotta give people respect, ’cause everyone’s a person. You give ’em respect, then you punch ’em.
–M train
Twentysomething girl on cell: Because I beat the crap out of him, that’s why I got fired.
–Continental Ave & Austin St, Forest Hills
Overheard by: Sean Finnerty
Nerdy high school girl: I got a B+ on my freaking Holocaust essay. How gay is that?
–Q17 bus, Flushing
Overheard by: Lisa Berlin
Queerspotter: He’s so far inside the closet, he’s in Narnia.
–11th between 1st and A
Overheard by: Vinny C.
Drag queen: There are only two lesbian bars in New York, and that is because there are only five lesbians who tip.
–xl, 16th & 9th
Overheard by: Nick Salvato
Skinny white teenage boy, pointing to a T-shirt that says New York Fucking City: Yo mom. I want this shirt in the biggest size they have.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Allisa
Mom on cell with son: Listen, you get home now, you only thirteen and you be fuckin’ all them bitches.
–Herald Square
Guy on cell: No! For the last time, you gotta set it on fire after you put it on his doorstep. [To friend] God, fucking kids these days.
–22nd & 6th
Teen: What’s the big difference between this and the Holocaust Museum?
–Darwin Exhibit, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Doug Gordon
Guy: And he just kept talking about masturbating in the Guggenheim.
–2nd Ave, between 4th & 5th
Overheard by: Bradford
MoMA security guard: No, we just have modern art here.
–MoMA
Overheard by: -=Ed.
Woman sitting on bench with small dog on lap: You know that no matter what you do, I will always love you, right?
–1st & 87th
Girl on cell: No, I haven’t had a chance to blow him off yet.
–6th & 53rd
