Suit to other suit: They drive it through the city in milk trucks so that no one will know.
–6th between 55th & 56th
Overheard by: Ann M. Hetzel
Queer on cell: Sunday? Well, I hate to say this out loud on a cell phone where the authorities can hear, but. . . that’s Tonys night.
–Broadway & 33rd, Astoria
Overheard by: lily carver
Guy: I went to high school with you. I was a senior when you were a freshman. I used to look at your pantylines in gym class.
–Kevin St. James, 46th & 8th
Woman: I find the suburbs to be extremely frightening. I know they all have air conditioning, but still…
–6 train
Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad…I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you’ll like living in New York.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Casting person: Ok, here’s the problem, they don’t wan’t a baby with a huge head compared to his chest, nor do they want to see gross veins all over its chest. They want the fucking Gerber baby, ok?
–38th between 7th & 8th
Friend to new mother with infant: All babies look great in black. Did you know that?
–Madison & 91st
Overheard by: Kelly Smith
Woman: Actually, now that they’ve started talking, the twins are much less creepy.
–Central Park
Man on cell: I love you baby, but I just can’t be looking at your face everyday like that.
–Union Square
Guy to friend: She had that ugly-ass quality about her.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sarah
Black guy to his dad: You have to help me. My cock is turning into one of those fucking curly fries.
–71st & Continental
Woman: So I told him, if that’s the urethra you got the wrong hole.
–115th & Broadway
Very old homeless woman to sleeping homeless man: You don’t even know how good looking you are!
–28th & 3rd
Overheard by: juju
Little boy: I want your DNA.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Helen V.
Ghetto teen: If Jesus was with you, he’d smack you over the head and call you a dick!
–A train
Overheard by: Josh Jasper
Girl to friends: Do either of you have a really nice picture of Jesus? I need to make an ashtray.
–7th & A
Overheard by: Ty!
Guy: I mean, why spend my money to put up bail when she’s just going to wind up doing time anyway?
–B train
Overheard by: Dianora
Chick on cell: The thing is, he doesn’t freeze meat. Yeah, it’s an issue.
–22nd & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Girl on cell: It’s Fleet Week here, so I’m getting laid.
–47th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl to sailor: Well, without your hat you’re fucking ugly!
–MacDougal & Bleeker
Borderline-crying woman on cell: No I don’t want to go to a fucking bar, I want to be with you, you asshole!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: gladly single
Ballsy dame: Well, that’s one thing men are good for — playing the minor roles in Evita.
–Marie’s Crisis piano bar, Grove & Bleeker
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
