Ghetto teen: If Jesus was with you, he’d smack you over the head and call you a dick!
–A train
Overheard by: Josh Jasper
Girl to friends: Do either of you have a really nice picture of Jesus? I need to make an ashtray.
–7th & A
Overheard by: Ty!
Ghetto teen: If Jesus was with you, he’d smack you over the head and call you a dick!
–A train
Overheard by: Josh Jasper
Girl to friends: Do either of you have a really nice picture of Jesus? I need to make an ashtray.
–7th & A
Overheard by: Ty!
Guy: I mean, why spend my money to put up bail when she’s just going to wind up doing time anyway?
–B train
Overheard by: Dianora
Chick on cell: The thing is, he doesn’t freeze meat. Yeah, it’s an issue.
–22nd & 8th
Overheard by: Sebastian White
Girl on cell: It’s Fleet Week here, so I’m getting laid.
–47th & Broadway
Overheard by: Rachel
Girl to sailor: Well, without your hat you’re fucking ugly!
–MacDougal & Bleeker
Borderline-crying woman on cell: No I don’t want to go to a fucking bar, I want to be with you, you asshole!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: gladly single
Ballsy dame: Well, that’s one thing men are good for — playing the minor roles in Evita.
–Marie’s Crisis piano bar, Grove & Bleeker
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Queer to his friend after hearing raucous cheering coming out of a bar: Straight people are tiresome, yet amusing at the same time.
–46th & 9th
Teen girl smelling a candle: Smells like lesbian.
–5 train
Overheard by: Nolan’s Lover
Well-dressed woman to well-dressed man: It’s not my ears, it’s your ass.
–3rd Ave between 11th & 12th
Overheard by: Heather DuCharme
Black guy to white girl: Hey, Slim Goodie! I wanna take you home and fatten you up right now! Some KFC, that’s all you need to juice that ass up.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: Sarah Bitchards
Girl to friend: Girl, you know you got a hobbit ass
–Steps outside the Met
Overheard by: Dawn Duffey
Little boy to his mother: Mommy, remember the last time you made a mistake?
–Manhattan-bound A train
Boy with ice cream: Does the five-second rule apply to sidewalks?
–92nd & Madison
Little boy to duck: Uh, what the fuck, dude?
–Harlem Meer, Central Park
Overheard by: robin b
White girl: Yeah, they’re actually adults. They just look like children because, you know, they’re Asian.
–Asian Pacific American Heritage Festival, Union Square
Overheard by: Kelly
White girl: He really was the smallest black guy I’ve ever fucked…and believe me, I’ve fucked plenty of black guys.
–Union Square
Black guy to Asian woman: We fucking taught you people martial arts! Egypt? What!
–Washington Square Park
Girl on cell: I feel so dirty…He rubbed oil all over my body. He’s short, but he has blue eyes…so hot…I’d let him crawl all over me!
–Hoboken PATH
Old blind woman singing for money in the train: I’ll rub hot oil all over your body … and God bless the child, that’s got his own, that’s got his own.
–F train downtown
Hobo lady: I been pussy fucked; I been ass fucked; I been titty fucked–and that was fun–but there ain’t no love like the love of Jesus.
–M15 bus
Overheard by: Ben Beckley
Crazy old woman: It’s the United States government, they did this — ruined my hair, my skin, my nails.
–25th & 3rd
Overheard by: nina
Boy: If you can find that channel on cable, it’s all Castro, all the time.
–1st Ave & 11th
Overheard by: Elmer Colon
Guy on payphone: I didn’t say anything about smacking the fuck out of your country.
–91st & 1st
