Mom: You see? You almost hit that nice lady. Then she would have sued you and took all your PlayStation games
–N 12th & Bedford, Williamsburg
Overheard by: sonibug13
Mom: No, Cyrus! Don’t touch that! You have ringworm!
–Post office, Upper West Side
Mom: You see? You almost hit that nice lady. Then she would have sued you and took all your PlayStation games
–N 12th & Bedford, Williamsburg
Overheard by: sonibug13
Mom: No, Cyrus! Don’t touch that! You have ringworm!
–Post office, Upper West Side
Tux: You know my ex-boyfriend, right? Come on, you remember him. His sister was in jail with Amy Fisher?
–Therapy, 52nd & 9th
Tux: Stop singing Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. That’s all I’ll ever ask of you.
–Tonys after-party for Jersey Boys, Hard Rock Cafe
Suit on headset: You know, I have been so gassy lately.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: yum
Suit on cell: Hey, I found this guy I thought I’d fix you up with, but I talked to Elliot and he said he wouldn’t cross the street to piss on him, he’s an ethical scumbag… Yeah, I know that’s what everybody says about Elliott.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Ken
White dude: I’m blacker than the fucking poops you shit, son!
–Ditmas Ave
Latina: Shit, where’d all these white people come from?
–Ludlow St
Overheard by: Caroline McGraw
Girl on cell: Ya know, it’s the smart people not having kids, or maybe having one or two. Its the uneducated that are reproducing more uneducated people. You know that 64% of kids born today are minority. We should build that fence bewteen us and Mexico.
–Ray Bari, 56th & 3rd
Very busy person: In class I start saying “African American” and then I’m like, fuck it, and I say “black black black…” I don’t have time to be saying “African American.”
–27th & 10th
Man with facial hair: You can only really pull off a Fu Man Chu if you’re a cop, a gay porn star, or a pirate.
–Virgin Records, Times Square
Guy to his girlfriend: You are one hairy bastard
–78th & 1st
Girl: The thing is, he’s too lazy to be a drug dealer.
–Bleecker & Mott
Guy leaving: See you tomorrow, I’m off to do some shoplifting!
–Smith & Union, Red Hook
Yuppie mom: Do you think my baby is old enough to do yoga?
–Union & Henry, Red Hook
Pregnant woman on cell: Mom, I gotta go. I can’t find Jason and I need to take him home before he plays Hide and Go Soil Yourself behind the stuffer machine.
–Build-A-Bear, 5th & 46th
Overheard by: Anna Lindgren
Mean old New York lady: The hostesses in this place are so rude!
–67th & CPW
Overheard by: a hostess standing next to her
College kid on cell: He used my razor to shave his balls….I didn’t know what to do, I just stood there.
–85th & 2nd
Overheard by: Omar
Prissy girl on cell phone: Do you think I should call him? I don’t think he’d talk to me after all of the shit I’ve pulled.
–79th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Phipmode
Guy on cell: I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I’m usually so fucked up I don’t know what’s going on, to be honest.
–NJ Transit bus pulling into Port Authority
