Girl: The thing is, he’s too lazy to be a drug dealer.
–Bleecker & Mott
Guy leaving: See you tomorrow, I’m off to do some shoplifting!
–Smith & Union, Red Hook
Girl: The thing is, he’s too lazy to be a drug dealer.
–Bleecker & Mott
Guy leaving: See you tomorrow, I’m off to do some shoplifting!
–Smith & Union, Red Hook
Yuppie mom: Do you think my baby is old enough to do yoga?
–Union & Henry, Red Hook
Pregnant woman on cell: Mom, I gotta go. I can’t find Jason and I need to take him home before he plays Hide and Go Soil Yourself behind the stuffer machine.
–Build-A-Bear, 5th & 46th
Overheard by: Anna Lindgren
Mean old New York lady: The hostesses in this place are so rude!
–67th & CPW
Overheard by: a hostess standing next to her
College kid on cell: He used my razor to shave his balls….I didn’t know what to do, I just stood there.
–85th & 2nd
Overheard by: Omar
Prissy girl on cell phone: Do you think I should call him? I don’t think he’d talk to me after all of the shit I’ve pulled.
–79th between 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: Phipmode
Guy on cell: I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry. I’m usually so fucked up I don’t know what’s going on, to be honest.
–NJ Transit bus pulling into Port Authority
Suit to other suit: They drive it through the city in milk trucks so that no one will know.
–6th between 55th & 56th
Overheard by: Ann M. Hetzel
Queer on cell: Sunday? Well, I hate to say this out loud on a cell phone where the authorities can hear, but. . . that’s Tonys night.
–Broadway & 33rd, Astoria
Overheard by: lily carver
Guy: I went to high school with you. I was a senior when you were a freshman. I used to look at your pantylines in gym class.
–Kevin St. James, 46th & 8th
Woman: I find the suburbs to be extremely frightening. I know they all have air conditioning, but still…
–6 train
Twentysomething guy: The quality of life here is so bad…I mean, if you enjoy drinking all night and having random sex, you’ll like living in New York.
–5th Ave & 9th St
Casting person: Ok, here’s the problem, they don’t wan’t a baby with a huge head compared to his chest, nor do they want to see gross veins all over its chest. They want the fucking Gerber baby, ok?
–38th between 7th & 8th
Friend to new mother with infant: All babies look great in black. Did you know that?
–Madison & 91st
Overheard by: Kelly Smith
Woman: Actually, now that they’ve started talking, the twins are much less creepy.
–Central Park
Man on cell: I love you baby, but I just can’t be looking at your face everyday like that.
–Union Square
Guy to friend: She had that ugly-ass quality about her.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sarah
Black guy to his dad: You have to help me. My cock is turning into one of those fucking curly fries.
–71st & Continental
Woman: So I told him, if that’s the urethra you got the wrong hole.
–115th & Broadway
Very old homeless woman to sleeping homeless man: You don’t even know how good looking you are!
–28th & 3rd
Overheard by: juju
Little boy: I want your DNA.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Helen V.
