Girl: I have to pee sooooo bad!
Mother: You just went to the bathroom ten minutes ago.
Girl: But I have to pee again! Can you put something in my vagina to hold it up?
–M104 Bus
Girl: I have to pee sooooo bad!
Mother: You just went to the bathroom ten minutes ago.
Girl: But I have to pee again! Can you put something in my vagina to hold it up?
–M104 Bus
Mother, after mayor Bloomberg goes by: Was that Rudy?
Daughter: Giuliani? You really don't know what Rudy Giuliani looks like?
Mother: No.
Daughter: This is almost as bad as the time you said you don't know what Darfur is.
Mother: I still don't.
–Columbus Day Parade
Older gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you didn't need to have passion or talent to be an artist; you just needed to have a van, because no one else was going to haul your shitty art around.
–7th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Miss C
Girl reading sign at Frank Lloyd Wright museum: Oh… He was an architect!
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Antartic
Mom to little girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you'll turn into a statue.
–MoMA
Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she didn't think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I'll go to a fucking museum if I fucking want to. I'll look at some paintings and shit.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark McLaughlin
12-year-old boy, looking at Picasso paintings: This is totally my thing, man, it's like free porn.
–MoMA
Girl: Think you’ll be able to convince your parents to go see a movie or something over Christmas?
Guy: Not a chance. My parents are impossible to motivate to do anything.
Girl: Ah, I bet you could get them to at least try during the holidays.
Guy: I’m not kidding…They are completely exhausted by eating, sleeping, shitting, and working. That’s all they have energy for.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: BBW
Mother, to her kids: Now here’s what you do -you go into the store, give the receipt to the cashier, and buy something else.
[Kids leave.]Mother, to herself: You are not getting me a mop for mother’s day, no sir.
–6th Ave
Overheard by: J.R.
Five-year-old tourist girl: Daddy, don’t lie to your wife!
–Deli
Overheard by: persephone
Man with bongo: Who's that baby mama?! Who's that baby mama?!
Man with bongo, putting on blonde wig: I'm that baby mama! I'm that baby mama!
Man with bongo: Who's that baby daddy?! Who's that baby daddy?!
Man with bongo, taking off blonde wig: I'm that baby daddy! I'm that baby daddy!
–F Train
Overheard by: Leise
Four-year-old girl to sister: You're hitting me with your violin case!
Upper West Side mom: Anne, sometimes you have to endure a little bit of pain on the subway.
–1 Train
60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.
–B4 Bus
Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova
Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!
–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.
–Bus
Overheard by: liz
Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!
–Food Stamp Office, 14th St
Overheard by: Erica Schreiner
African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.
–30th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: mike v
Woman #1: So my mom is all depressed because of the Hurricane Katrina stuff, and she says she has no time to take care of herself. And I say, “It’s just a call to duty, Mom.” I mean, if she’d go to the beauty parlor…
Woman #2: The beauty parlor probably got destroyed.
Woman #1: Yes, and they had to build a new one. And I say, if she just goes in there and has them…fix her hair, or something…she’ll feel so much better!
–H&M, Broadway & Prince
