Girl: Ew! I don’t want to hear the words ‘mother’ and ‘nipple’ in the same sentence!
Friend: What? It’s a legitimate question.
–Queens-bound R train
Overheard by: spacegirl
Girl: Ew! I don’t want to hear the words ‘mother’ and ‘nipple’ in the same sentence!
Friend: What? It’s a legitimate question.
–Queens-bound R train
Overheard by: spacegirl
Very little girl: Okay, this is not going to be minutes, this is not going to be seconds: where is the panda?
Dad, looking around outdoor enclosure: Um… Oh! There it is!
Very little girl, peering through fence: I can't see it!
Dad, lifting her just above fence: How's that?
Very little girl: Okay! Let's go!
–Red Panda Habitat, Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Eight-year-old ghetto kid: Mama, give me your cell phone! I gotta call my girlfriend.
Mother: What you gonna talk to her about? How you can't read and write? Tell her to help you with that!
–Harlem
Overheard by: Joe
Filthy rich mom #1: I don’t know what I’ll do this summer. I mean, my nanny has a life.
Filthy rich mom #2: Ugh, I know. That’s exactly the trouble.
–Collegiate School, W 78th St
12-year-old girl: Mom, can we get a hot dog or something later?
Girl's mom: No, it'll make you fat.
12-year-old girl: But…
Girl's mom: Fat!
–F Train
Overheard by: Immallama
Guy: So my friend from New Jersey just texted me…
Girl: Yeah?
Guy: Yeah, she’s pregnant and wants to me to be the godfather.
–NYU bus
Little girl: What is that?
Mom: An ornament on a branch.
Little girl: Why is it an ornament on a branch?
Mom: Because it is.
Little girl: Why is it because it is?
–St. Lukes Holiday Festival, Hudson & Christopher
Overheard by: nosey nancy
Tall girl: I think I saw his brother in the chorus of a show I saw for my job.
Short girl: Word.
Tall girl: Yeah.
Short girl: Yeah. There's four of them. And they're all beautiful. It's so not fair. I'm weird-looking and, according to my grandma, my brother looks like the love child of Jake Gyllenhaal and Sanjay Gupta.
Tall girl: And your parents are short Jews.
Short girl: I can't believe you remember that.
–Downtown 1 Train
Cute little four-year-old girl: Daddy, who was The Iceman?
Father, without hesitation: He was a serial killer.
Cute little four-year-old girl: Oh.
–Barnes & Noble
