Mom: First it will be spring, then summer, then time for you to go to kindergarten.
Four-year-old boy: Will there be nice kids there?
Mom: Are there nice kids at your day care now?
Four-year-old boy: Yeees…
Mom: You're the only bad kid at day care.
Four-year-old boy: I knooow!
–Uptown D Train
Little girl playing a Nintendo DS: Yes! Yes!
Mother: What happened?
Little girl: Never mind, Mom. You just wouldn’t understand.
–E train
Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Mom to a seven-year-old kid on school bus: Fucking animal, I’ll fucking kill you!
Seven-year-old bully: Suck my dick, you ugly bitch!
Mom to son: Every fucking day! I can’t stand this shit!
–11th St & 4th ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: Wish she didn’t live on the block
Drunk gay man: I've slept with more men than my mom has!
–Ave A
Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest
Woman to man: I don't want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.
–9th Ave & 44th St
Woman on cell: It's just sex. There's no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.
–Macy's
Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?
–Bookstore, Brooklyn
Overheard by: -she probably said
Kid presses call button on commuter hotline phone.
Father: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what it was.
Father: If you do that again the police will arrest you.
Son: Really?
Father: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Father: He will kill you and put your picture on the Wall of Memories [Ground Zero feature].
–World Trade Center PATH station
Four-year-old boy: You're so mean to me, mama!
Mom: Yeah, I get that all the time.
–Commodities Natural Market, 10th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Richelle
Five-year-old boy to father: Is this an important life lesson?
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: A
Young Asian man to woman ignoring him: Hey, let's go get a falafel. Hey, hey–you live around here often?
–Union Square
Overheard by: serena
Woman, throwing McNuggets at man: Get the fuck out of my life!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Elliot
Frantic crazy guy: I'm gonna go have a seat in Starbucks and get my life together!
–6th Ave & 25th St
Overheard by: tbomb
Suit on phone: Well that's life, you screw people over and then you go to the Bahamas.
–Train into Penn Station
Park slope kid : Mommy, mommy, mommy! Can you fart?
Park slope mom, hesitant: That's not something to say on a train, sweetie. And no.
(little girls starts to throw a fit)
Park slope kid: Why not?!
–F Train
Mom to fussing toddler: I'm right here, sweetheart!
Crazy guy: Sweetheart. Sweeeetheart. Why not “salt” heart? Saaaaaaaaaalllllllttttt heeeeaaaaaarrt!
–Starbucks
Exasperated woman on phone: It's a phone interview! What does it matter what type of boobs I have?
–Office Building, 32nd & 7th
Overheard by: erkala
Girl, after guy accidentally hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeezing them, not hitting them!
–Toys R' Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Lotte
Upper West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It completely ruins that skirt for me.
–Canal Street
Hobo: But I don't want to love my breasts!
–Ave B
Man on cell: So you're coming to New York? That's good. I called your mother, she said you're staying with some girl with big tits tonight.
–West 4th Street
Guy to another, while at lunch: I don't care if you think I live too fast and I'll be dead at 45. At least I'll die with a tittie in my mouth!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: sal b
