Mom: Excuse me officer, can you tell me where the Crown Building is located?
Cop: Lady, if the building collapsed you would be crushed.
–57th & 5th
Mom: Excuse me officer, can you tell me where the Crown Building is located?
Cop: Lady, if the building collapsed you would be crushed.
–57th & 5th
Litte boy: Dad, what’s something I can learn?
Dad: Do you know how to use a chainsaw? I can see if I can get the chainsaw working.
–B train
Overheard by: The Bling
Guy #1: How was that class for you? Was it like a war?
Guy #2: For me? It was more like walking through a preschool with a chainsaw.
–181st & Broadway
Guy on cell: They showed me the baby’s room and the crib had all these crazy functions I couldn’t understand. The baby even has a walk-in closet filled with clothes and it’s only 2 days old! They just bought a new stroller too…it probably has a built-in MP3, CD and DVD player.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Astrid Vanderpool
Mother: Okay. The museum is either over there (points across the street) or over there (points back into the park).
Daughter: I don't think the museum is in the park, mom.
Mother: Who says that's the park?
–Central Park
Overheard by: J-Rabs
Little girl: Daddy, what's an orgasm?
Dad: It's kinda like a sneeze. Now don't ask me any more questions.
–Times Square
Four-year-old: I don't like you.
Angry mother: Well, that's fine, I don't like you very much either.
Four-year-old: That's mean.
Angry mother: That's life.
–Time Square
Overheard by: pluml
Husky dad: So when you and your girlfriend make love, do you turn the lights off?
Awkward son, chuckling: No.
Husky dad: You mean you actually let her look at it?
Awkward son, chuckling again: Yeah.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dave
Teen girl on cell: …Can you believe he wanted me to stick my hand in there and touch it?…Yeah, I did it…Oh, it was huge! He said it was really big, but damn! And it’s long, too!…Uh, the head is an
average size, I guess…I like how it feels…Okay, why is the spotlight on me?…Different people are giving me that “what the fuck” look…Oh, shit! Ha, ha, ha! You’re right. Hold on…Chill, everyone! I’m talking about my boyfriend’s pet snake, not his
penis…Okay, continue.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Fulton Mall
Overheard by: Shanny O.
Child: Daddy, can we get a dog?
Dad: No, they don't do anything. At least Sid and Nancy keep the mice away.
–Tribeca
Overheard by: jae
