Gentile Yuppie: When I was in the synagogue, all of these girls kept on coming up to me and trying to pick me up–but they were all Jewish!
Gentile Yuppie: When I was in the synagogue, all of these girls kept on coming up to me and trying to pick me up–but they were all Jewish!
Suit #1: How long have you lived here?
Suit #2: How old are you? Probably longer than you have been alive.
Suit #1: Born and raised in New York, huh?
Suit #2: No, a farm in PA. Got the fuck out of there, though. Met a girl from New York–well actually, Long Island–married her and moved out here. Thought she had money. Yeah…fooled the shit out of me.
Suit #3: Ha, you were that close to being better than all of us.
–Wall & Water
Suit #1: That was a pretty good meeting…
Suit #2: Yeah, we got a lot done.
Hobo: Was Liam Neeson in it?
–51st & Madison
Overheard by: BDA
Hipster girl: Gosh, I’m like Pavlov’s dog!
Guy: What the hell is that?
Hipster girl: You don’t know? They teach it in, like, every science class ever!
Guy: So, what is it?
Hipster girl: It has something to do with bells and drool, I’m not really sure.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Tres Chic
Loud guy: They’re both really pretty.
Girl: Yeah, sure.
Loud guy: Sure, they’ve got busted noses, but they’re still really pretty.
–Chola Restaurant, 58th St, between 2nd & 3rd Ave
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing!
–Fordham
A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are.
–Varick Street
Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Man in a full-length fur coat: “I’m a socialist monarchist. I believe in helping the people, but the people can’t help themselves.”
— W 83rd Post Office
Dad: Do you guys want Turkish food for dinner?
Teen girl: Yeah, I’m down.
Dad: …Is that good…or bad?
–83rd & Columbus
Overheard by: Sydney
Crazy guy: Pawns and shields. Pawns and shields and a meal ticket. That’s all kids are good for.
–L train
Overheard by: Thomas Byrd
A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone.
Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing!
He hangs up his imaginary phone.
Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much.
–Staten Island ferry
