Vendor guy: Do you like manga? Have you heard of yaoi?
Woman: I’m sorry. I’m German. I’m a little retarded when it comes to language.
–Jacob Javits Center
Vendor guy: Do you like manga? Have you heard of yaoi?
Woman: I’m sorry. I’m German. I’m a little retarded when it comes to language.
–Jacob Javits Center
Girl #1: Wow. Akiva Goldsmith’s really made something for himself…for a Jew.
Girl #2: God you’re a racist.
Girl #1: What makes me a racist? I’m part Jewish.
Girl #2: An hour ago you asked me why all Asians look the same.
–Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street
Overheard by: Pop Iris
Girl #1: You should see this guy. He’s like the reincarnation of Gerard Way.
Girl #2: Gerard Way’s not dead.
Girl #1: He’s emo. He’s dead inside.
–E train
Guy: Hey, you seen that movie Grizzly Man yet?
Girl: No, but I really really want to.
Guy: Yeah, it’s so good. Hey, you know they’re making a movie about the bear guy? Already! And guess who’s starring in it!
Girl: I dunno…
Guy: Leonardo da Vinci!
Girl: Who?
Guy: You know! Leonardo da Vinci! Leonardo da Vinci!
–New School elevator, 13th & 5th
Overheard by: Halli Civelek
Guy on cell: I don’t think it’s time yet to do the professional intervention thing. I mean if she drops down below 90, then maybe it’s time. But I’d like to her get down to 95, then she would be hot. As long as she doesn’t lose those 5 in her tits. Shit, she has nice tits.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Guy: What do you like, then? What do you like?
Girl: Progressive rock.
Guy: “Progressive”? Meaning…to change with the times?
Girl: Yes, I guess as opposed to conservative rock.
Guy: There is a conservative rock?
–Barnard College elevator
Overheard by: tiddlypomtiddlypom
Tourist teen girl: I hope we see one of the Olsen twins.
Tourist mom: Oh, they were so cute on that show.
Man: Those kids were disgusting. They weren’t cute. They were hideous. They should have put bags over their heads. You know who is a cute baby? Stewie Griffin. You know, from The Family Guy? He wants to kill his mother and take over the world.
Tourist mom: Okay, thanks!
–W Train
Overheard by: Ubiquitous Attorney
Teen girl: I would like to. Notwithstanding, I–
Old lady: Never say “notwithstanding” in New York. Too long a word for here.
Teen girl: Why the heck…?
Old lady: Notwithstanding and two financial empires have already
collapsed! Where are you from, by the way?
Teen girl: Missoula, Montana.
Old lady: You’re making my point, darling!…So, Redford says “notwithstanding”? No kidding?
Teen girl: Robert lives in Utah.
–Trump Tower elevator, 56th & 5th
Overheard by: Bertrand Latour
White man: Excuse me, has anyone ever told you you look just like that rap guy?
Black guy: You mean Snoop Dogg?
White man: Yeah, him.
Black guy: Yeah, all the time.
White man: Are you related to him?
Black guy: Yeah, he’s a distant cousin.
White man: Really? Wow! You must get this all the time.
Black guy: Yeah, even my girlfriend says it.
White man: Well, that must be the reason she dates you. She probably wouldn’t date you if you weren’t related to him.
–1 train
Drunk girl #1: I met a guy last night!
Drunk girl #2: Oh yeah? Do tell.
Drunk girl #1: Well, um, it’s not exactly accurate to say that he had a Jay Leno caricature face.
–18th & 8th
Overheard by: Jas
