Pop Culture

They Started at the Mystery Section

Girl: Excuse me, do you have any biographies of TuPac?
Library guy: Probably, though they’d be with the other biographies on the second floor.
Dude: But isn’t this the fiction section?
Library guy: It is. You might be able to find some books about him in non-fiction.
Girl: “Non-fiction”?
Library guy: Non-fiction means true.
Dude: …And fiction means false.
Library guy: Sort of.
Girl: So if it’s in non-fiction then that means he must still be alive.
Library guy: I don’t think you understand.

–Brooklyn Public Library, Grand Army Plaza

Overheard by: Matthew Sahd Mohammed

They Were Seeing Red

Chick #1: There was too much talking in that movie and not enough action.
Chick #2: Yeah. It was all like too much communism and shit.

–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street

Overheard by: Nico Westerdale

Only If It’s Decaf

Security lady #1: I don’t think I never met an Amish person.
Security lady #2: Ain’t that Marie Osmond an Amish? Yeah, she’s an Amish person.
Security lady #1: If she’s Amish, why is she allowed to wear so much makeup? They can’t wear makeup, right?

–LaGuardia

Getting Stroked (A NYC Short Story)

Hipster guy #1: Oh my god, fuck the Strokes! I’m here for Eagles of Death Metal! Yeah! Ha, ha! Fuck, I love eagles but I hate death metal!
Hipster girl: Where’s Julian? Where’s Julian?
Hipster guy #2: Shut the fuck up guys, this lead singer’s fuckin’ Dave Grohl or some shit!

–Hammerstein Ballroom, West 34th Street

Girl: Was it wrong that I totally didn’t enjoy that at all?
Guy: Uh…
Girl: I mean it was like every song is exactly the same and they’re just a bunch of 6 1/2 foot tall guys in leather jackets.

–34th between 8th & 9th

One Guess Where They’re Staying

Grandma: Who is that? What’s the commotion about?
Teen girl: It’s Paris Hilton.
Grandma: Who is that?
Teen girl: She’s a media blowjob, Nana. Let’s get a move on, we’re
late and Daddy’s waiting for us at the hotel.

–41st & 6th

Overheard by: Brian Otano

Wednesday One-liners Flip Channels

Guy on pay phone: Hey Tom, it’s Jerry.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Matthew Suss

Meanwhile, Mary Jo Looks Like Two-Face

Woman #1: Did anyone ever tell you that you look like Amy Fisher?
Woman #2: No.
Woman #1: Well, you do. I mean what she did was wrong and all, but she was a beautiful woman, so are you.

–6 train

She Hails from Crawfordheim

Vendor guy: Do you like manga? Have you heard of yaoi?
Woman: I’m sorry. I’m German. I’m a little retarded when it comes to language.

–Jacob Javits Center

That’s Being Chi-curious

Girl #1: Wow. Akiva Goldsmith’s really made something for himself…for a Jew.
Girl #2: God you’re a racist.
Girl #1: What makes me a racist? I’m part Jewish.
Girl #2: An hour ago you asked me why all Asians look the same.

–Loews Lincoln Square, West 68th Street

Overheard by: Pop Iris

The Dead Don’t Cry on Their LiveJournal

Girl #1: You should see this guy. He’s like the reincarnation of Gerard Way.
Girl #2: Gerard Way’s not dead.
Girl #1: He’s emo. He’s dead inside.

–E train

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