Black guy: Two for Akeelah.
German girlfriend: What? What are you buying? Two kilos for what?
Black guy: No. Akeelah.
German girlfriend: I don’t understand. Two kilos of what? That makes no sense.
Black guy, rolling his eyes: No! Akeelah! Akeelah!. Akeelah! Two for Akeelah!
German girlfriend: I still don’t understand.
Black guy: Akeelah and the frickin’ Bee!!!
German girlfriend: OHHHHH!
–Union Square Stadium 14, Broadway & 13th
Suit #1: You know what movie they’re filming over there?
Suit #2: I think it’s a snuff film.
–Maiden & Water
Overheard by: Angry Oscillations
Girl #1: Man, I am so excited to just move.
Boy: When you move in with me, can we get a Chia pet?
Girl #2: Oh, girl, watch out. You get a Chia pet and it's a slippery slope. Next thing you know, you and Cliff will be wearing cat sweatshirts and writing fan fiction.
Boy: That's gonna happen in secret.
Girl #1: Whatever, bitch, we're gonna grow herbs.
–The Met
Young English teacher, showing class movie of Greek tragedy Agamemnon: Does anyone else think that Agamemnon kinda looks like the Burger King King?
Student: Well, there goes my grade.
–Stuyvesant High
Blonde: I think I’m going to donate money to that thing George Clooney was talking about.
Friend: What?
Blonde: Darfur.
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Overheard by: betty machete
Teacher: Today we are going to learn about Sigmund Freud. Do you know who Sigmund Freud was?
Student: Was he on Oprah?
–105th & 3rd
Guy: So I was invited to a party at Natalie Portman’s apartment, and–
Girl: Natalie Portman from The Facts Of Life?
–46th & Vanderbilt
Overheard by: longtimelistener
Drunk guy: I’m dunzo like the girl Kristin from Laguna Beach…I’m drunk like I’m on The Real World.
Sober guy: Yo, don’t throw up in the elevator, man. You should go throw up on that girl’s door that we hate.
–Palladium Residence elevator, East 14th Street
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Guy #1: Why are hipster chicks so unattractive?
Guy #2: Because if they were attractive they would be accused of conforming, and then they might even have to get excited about something….god forbid.
–5 train
Girl: You know what I really hate?
Guy: What?
Girl: Gays, queers. You know, that kind of stuff.
Guy: Ah…but you watch yaoi.
Girl: So?
–Odessa, Avenue A
Overheard by: allison
