Loud girl #1: Why isn't James coming out tonight?
Loud girl #2: He wants to save some money for a new couch.
Loud girl #1: A couch? What kind of lame excuse is that?
Loud girl #2: He wants a new couch.
Loud girl #1: What happened to his old couch? Wait… Nevermind, I don't even want to know.
–A Train
Overheard by: K-T
Girl #1: What should we do?
Girl #2: We could go back to the dorm and watch 10 Things I Hate About You.
Jersey girl: Oh, yeah! I haven't seen Heath Ledger in a long time!
–8th St & University Place
Gay #1: Did you hear Steven Spielberg donated $100,000 to defeat the gay marriage amendment in California?
Gay #2 (angry): Why? That fucking Jew!
Gay #1: No, he donated $100,000 to defeat the proposed ban on gay marriage in California.
Gay #2: God, I love that kike.
–Thompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Jesse
Upper East Side queer teen: Oh my gosh, you have such a cool accent! Where are you from? Like England or something?
Black girl: Brooklyn.
–Central Park
Overheard by: TM
Starbucks-toting boy: I really want to go to one of those floating islands, though.
Hippie chick: Which islands?
Starbucks-toting boy: The floating islands. The ones that float.
Hippie chick: Don't all islands float?
Starbucks-toting boy: No.
Hippie chick: Yes they do. I mean, they float now.
–6th Ave & Union, Park Slope
Overheard by: Questioning impact of teaching career
Bouncer on phone: I don't care if they is balding, got big guts or little dicks!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: chiddox
Flaming gay man to lover: You have a small dick that never gets erect, and you are not in my will!
–Avenue St John & Kelly Streets, Bronx
Overheard by: Li'l Squeaker
Hobo: Stop controlling my eyeballs to look at your dick!
–Times Square
30-something man: Waaaaait, did they say "dick in cider" or "dick inside her"?
–7th St & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Juicy
High school kid: I wish I had two dicks. (pause) So both of my hands have something to do in class.
–Q27 Bus Stop
Overheard by: cough.cough.cough
Woman on phone: It's not about you, it's about your small dick.
–Times Square
Girl to friend: So you're going to tutor his dick, right?
–University & 10th St
Hassidic Jew in front of Mitzvah Mobile: Excuse me sir, are you Jewish?
British guy: No, I'm good, thanks!
–Union Square West
Overheard by: not jewish
Punk girlfriend: What movie do you want to see?
Punk boyfriend: How about Definitely Maybe?
Punk girlfriend: I don't know…seems kinda chick-flicky.
–Austin St, Queens
Hot girl: Did you see the videos online of Florence Henderson wiping dog poop on some girl's face?
Even hotter girl: No, what the hell are you talking about?
Hot girl: Some video on YouTube.
–Rockefeller Center
Ghetto boy #1: Hey, honey, how old are you?
Ghetto girl: I'm sixteen.
Ghetto boy #1: Hey, you wanna trade phone numbers or aim or something?
Ghetto girl: No, thanks. (leaves)
Ghetto boy #2: Ooooooh. Damn.
Ghetto boy #1: Shut up, Justin! At least I don't date ugly-ass hos like you!
Ghetto boy #2: What about Veronica?
Ghetto boy #1: I only fucked Veronica cause I was trapped!
Ghetto boy #2: Nigga, how you be trapped?
Ghetto boy #1: Fuck, man, she weighs 300 pounds!
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
