Coworker #1: See any good costumes this weekend?
Coworker #2: Yeah, I saw this one guy dressed as Borat. You know, with the like thong-leotard thing?
Coworker #1: Oh, wow.
Coworker #2: Yeah…it was really ballsy of him.
–Broadway & Walker
Overheard by: office peon
Six-year-old boy: Daddy, why's BurritoVille closed?
Dad: Because there aren't enough angels in heaven.
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: feygele
Blockbuster employee, reading newspaper: I've never heard of these airlines. Qatar?
Customer: It's a country.
–Blockbuster Store
Man passing by window of chorus room: You can all suck my dick!
Chorus conductor, out window: Oh, you have one?
–Stuyvesant High School
Audience member in bar: Could I have a glass of wine?
Volunteer bartender: Sure, light or dark?
Audience member: Umm…red, please.
–White Wave Dance, Brooklyn
Local friend: So how you finding New York?
Tourist friend: It's okay, I guess… Just can't really see it without the monsters, you know? Like in the movies?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Joel Moore
Loud girl #1: So, have you heard of the Swedish band, Knife? They are so good!
Loud girl #2: Hmmmmm. Wait…yes! They have that single called “Like a Pen,” I love that song! Are they Swedish?
Loud girl #1: No, they're Australian.
–Park Slope
Four-year old to his father, dreamily: Let's go on the u train! The beautiful u train!
–D Line
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy girl to friend: I hope there's an exit at this station.
–96th St Station
Amiable suit, answering cell: Hi, hon. (pause) Well, I can't talk long–I have to drive this train.
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Little boy: Is this train going to move, or what?
–Transit Museum
Overheard by: Rita
MTA worker in booth, over intercom: Hello everyone. The cost to ride the subway is $2. Only $2. The woman in that blue leather jacket and red hat thinks it's free. If you are standing next to a woman in a blue leather jacket and a red hat, tell her she needs to pay her toll like everyone else.
–6 Train Station
Young man to friend: So, about your girlfriend…I think she and I should fuck.
–Union Square West & 16th St
Street hawker selling datebooks: Wanna cheat on your husband? Plan it out! Get a daily planner, write it in red!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: MPW
Hipster teen girl to friend: Dude, don't worry about it. Whenever I want guys to cheat on their girlfriends with me I always just take off my pants and start singing Afroman.
–Mulberry St
Chick to friends: Seriously, it's a full-on dating service for married people. (pause) Like, adulterers.
–Broadway & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Chuckles
Guy to another: Have you been cheating a lot? Does she know you're gay?
–6 Train
Hobo: So would all unhappily married women please step forward? I know there are some unhappily married women out there, and I'm willing to satisfy your needs. (pause) I know you're out there!
–Times Square
Overheard by: John
Preppy girl to friend: Do you ever shower and shower and still not feel clean?
–Broadway b/w 112th & 113th
Overheard by: Ladle
Young thug to two women: Yo, you make me wanna take a shower.
–Penn Station
Large bald guy with shopping bag with laundry detergent in it: I got this bag at Foot Locker. Know what I am going to do with it? I am going to put laundry detergent in it. Isn't that a good idea?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Nathan
20-something guy to another: Dude, there's no way I'm tossing a salad unless I know–with absolute fucking certainty–its been freshly washed.
–Washington Square
Young woman on cell: And then he physically got in the shower with me…again!
–Spring St & Crosby St
