It's Wednesday– Do You Know Who Your One-Liner's With?

Young man to friend: So, about your girlfriend…I think she and I should fuck.

–Union Square West & 16th St

Street hawker selling datebooks: Wanna cheat on your husband? Plan it out! Get a daily planner, write it in red!

–Herald Square

Overheard by: MPW

Hipster teen girl to friend: Dude, don't worry about it. Whenever I want guys to cheat on their girlfriends with me I always just take off my pants and start singing Afroman.

–Mulberry St

Chick to friends: Seriously, it's a full-on dating service for married people. (pause) Like, adulterers.

–Broadway & Avenue of the Americas

Overheard by: Chuckles

Guy to another: Have you been cheating a lot? Does she know you're gay?

–6 Train

Hobo: So would all unhappily married women please step forward? I know there are some unhappily married women out there, and I'm willing to satisfy your needs. (pause) I know you're out there!

–Times Square

Overheard by: John

Posted on March 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Chinatown, Clothing, Dating, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Hobos, Infidelity, Lies, Marriage, Men, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Sex, Singing, Street, Teens, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Are Next to Godliness

Preppy girl to friend: Do you ever shower and shower and still not feel clean?

–Broadway b/w 112th & 113th

Overheard by: Ladle

Young thug to two women: Yo, you make me wanna take a shower.

–Penn Station

Large bald guy with shopping bag with laundry detergent in it: I got this bag at Foot Locker. Know what I am going to do with it? I am going to put laundry detergent in it. Isn't that a good idea?

–1 Train

Overheard by: Nathan

20-something guy to another: Dude, there's no way I'm tossing a salad unless I know–with absolute fucking certainty–its been freshly washed.

–Washington Square

Young woman on cell: And then he physically got in the shower with me…again!

–Spring St & Crosby St

Posted on March 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cleanliness, Columbia University, Friends, Girls, Guys, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, Parks, Penn Station, Preppies, Questions, Shopping, Soho, Stupidity, Thugs, Vegetarian & Vegan, Washington Square Park, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

My College Years, in a Nutshell

Guy, seeing woman: Maya?
Maya: Hey! What are you doing here?
Guy: I don't know, I'm still drunk!

–E 92nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on March 10, 2009
Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Questions, Upper East Side, Women

I Was So Glad She Finished That Knock-Knock Joke in Her Last Breath

Girl: So did you hear that mom died?
Boy: Hahahaha, yeah.

–1st Ave & 11th St

Posted on March 9, 2009
Boys, Death, Girls, Laughter, Parents, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

But I'm Totally Out Of Pore-Minimizer

Kid, running up to friend: I'm in so much shit!
Friend: Why? Is Johnny going to punch you in the balls again?
Kid: No.

–NYU

Posted on March 9, 2009
Balls, Friends, Kids, NYU, Punch, Questions

The One Who Never Fought for His Country

Four-year-old girl: Daddy, why is it called Washington Square Park?
Father: It was named after George Washington.
Four-year-old girl: Wait…but I thought he was bad!
Father: No, that's George Bush.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Emilia

Posted on March 9, 2009
Dads, History & Geography, Kids, Names, Parks, President, Questions, Washington Square Park

What Happens When You Give Your Kid a Book About the Digestive System

Mom, handing toddler a treat: Now what do you say?
Son: Poopy!

–1 Train

Posted on March 8, 2009
Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Poop, Questions, Should've Used a Condom

I Have No Idea What You're Trying to Say

Guy: Yo, so how'd she get that nickname?
Girl: Who, hype-girl?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: She mad hype!

–Broadway & 137th

Posted on March 7, 2009
Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Nicknames & name calling, Questions

The Principal Gives You Crabs.

Middle school geography teacher: What do we rely on the ocean for?
Student, excitedly waving hand in the air: Crabs! The ocean gives me crabs!
Teacher, choking back a laugh: Maybe you should just say the ocean gives you fish…

–Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: I've never gotten crabs from an ocean

Posted on March 7, 2009
Animals & Nature, Elementary & Middle School, Food, Queens, Questions, School, STDs, Students, Teachers/Professors

Questions