My Answer Has Not Changed

Middle-aged white lady: Excuse me, where is Shanghai?
Asian girl: You in the wrong country.
Middle-aged white lady: No! I mean Shanghai Restaurant.

–Chinatown

Overheard by: confused

Posted on March 16, 2008
Asians, Chinatown, Default, Directions, Girls, Global Geography, Questions, Women

And You’ll Think Boys Are Icky Until You’re 22, and You’ll Always Take Care of Me…

Little girl pointing to ad featuring peanut butter and banana on bread: What is that?
Mother, looking at ad for a moment: It’s sushi.
Little girl: What’s sushi?
Mother: It’s Chinese food… You wouldn’t like it.

–B train

Posted on March 15, 2008
Default, Ethnic Food, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity

In the End, They Found an Umbrella Category for All Three: Virgin

Guy #1: Okay, so, important question: fantasy or science fiction?
Girl: Both! Oh, totally both!
Guy #2: I’m not even going to lie here. I really like those Magic cards.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: SCS

Posted on March 15, 2008
Books & Writing, Columbia, Default, Guys, Pop Culture, Questions

There’s Also One Kind of Shower That Could Cause This Smell

Pedestrian #1, covering nose: Why can’t people take a damn shower?!
Pedestrian #2: Why can’t some people not shit in the street?

–Outside Radio City Music Hall

Overheard by: AA

Posted on March 14, 2008
Comebacks, Default, Poop, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Scents of the City, Strangers

However, the Sex-for-Crack Area Is Limited to behind the Cafeteria

HS girl #1: Can we not drink on campus?
HS girl #2: No, I’m pretty sure we can.

–Columbia University, 116th St

Posted on March 14, 2008
Columbia, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Guys, Questions, Students

It’s a Simple Process Involving an Ice Bath in My Basement

Woman: Excuse me, miss… Can I ask you a question?
Chick: Um, sure.
Woman: This might sound kind of strange, but I have a patient that looks just like you and… Have you ever considered donating your eggs?

–Brooklyn-bound L train

Posted on March 13, 2008
Default, Girls, Medicine, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Questions, Weirdness, Women

To Say Nothing of Your Buck Teeth and Peg Leg

Short Latina #1: You could never be a model.
Short Latina #2, concerned: Why?
Short Latina #1: Your ass is too big.

–5th & 5th, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Andrea

Headline by: Gimpy

Runners-Up:
· “America’s Next Bottom Model” – Fierce!
· “At Least I Don’t Have My Head in Mine” – Drewp
· “But I Smell Like Vomit and Cigarettes!” – Ba-Dunka-Dunk
· “I Can Hear Your Thong Screaming For Help” – Darryl S
· “Those Are My Breasts; I Sling Them Over My Shoulders So That I Don’t Kick Them When I Walk.” – E-man – Master of the UNIVERSE
· “What’s That Got to Do with Hand Modelling?” – KJM

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on March 13, 2008
Ass, Beauty, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Headline Contest Winners, Insults, Latinos, Questions, Street

God: You’ve Been Punk’d!

Boy: Why am I friends with you? Seriously, why would God punish me like this?
Girl: ‘Cause he’s really Satan?
Boy: Don’t you fucking get all philosophical on my ass now!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Lennon