Old man: Where are the seat numbers?
Usher: On the right.
Old man: When I’m facing which way?
–Helen Hayes Theater, 44th St
Overheard by: Valerie Z
Old man: Where are the seat numbers?
Usher: On the right.
Old man: When I’m facing which way?
–Helen Hayes Theater, 44th St
Overheard by: Valerie Z
Girl: Couldn’t you just write me a prescription?
Guy: No, I can’t do that yet.
–Ludlow & Stanton
Overheard by: Barry
UES wife: So, what do you do?
20-something guy: I teach high school math.
UES husband: Oh, where at?
UES wife: Stuyvesant?
20-something guy: Um, no. It’s called ‘City-As-School.’
UES wife: Ohhh, is that one of those ‘special’ high schools?
20-something guy: I guess. Well, I mean, they’re all special.
–ICE, 6th & 23rd
Overheard by: office peon
Guy #1: This is fun, but it will be a lot better when we’re in bed.
Guy #2: … You’re gay?
–Urinal, Hard Rock Café
Overheard by: Danny
Headline by: ilemanzer
Runners-Up:
· “Can’t a Straight Guy Talk to His Penis?” – Tadzio
· “Does Mom Know?” – Ren
· “If I’d Known That Earlier I’d NEVER Have Let You Suck My Cock” – Lindsey
· “No, but I Did Appreciate That You Swallowed.” – Me
· “You’re a Guy?” – alice
Chick #1: What do you think of Mao Zedong?
Chick #2: I don’t know… He’s from China…
–Jennifer Convertibles, 20th & Broadway
Middle-aged white lady: Excuse me, where is Shanghai?
Asian girl: You in the wrong country.
Middle-aged white lady: No! I mean Shanghai Restaurant.
–Chinatown
Overheard by: confused
Little girl pointing to ad featuring peanut butter and banana on bread: What is that?
Mother, looking at ad for a moment: It’s sushi.
Little girl: What’s sushi?
Mother: It’s Chinese food… You wouldn’t like it.
–B train
Guy #1: Okay, so, important question: fantasy or science fiction?
Girl: Both! Oh, totally both!
Guy #2: I’m not even going to lie here. I really like those Magic cards.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: SCS
Pedestrian #1, covering nose: Why can’t people take a damn shower?!
Pedestrian #2: Why can’t some people not shit in the street?
–Outside Radio City Music Hall
Overheard by: AA
HS girl #1: Can we not drink on campus?
HS girl #2: No, I’m pretty sure we can.
–Columbia University, 116th St
