Girl: Do you bite your nails?
Guy: No, my girlfriend does it for me.
–Spring & Thompson
Overheard by: FERN
Girl: Do you bite your nails?
Guy: No, my girlfriend does it for me.
–Spring & Thompson
Overheard by: FERN
Vendor guy: Hey baby, do you want the Post delivered every morning?
Hot girl: No, I don’t know how to read.
Vendor guy: That’s all right, I’ll read it to you. I’ll come to your crib and read it to you every morning.
–3rd Ave street fair
Overheard by: Andy Marc
Woman holding flowers: How much are these?
Vendor: Eight dollars.
Woman: Eight dollars? That is ridiculous!
Vendor: Well maybe you should stop buying yourself flowers and get a man to buy them for you.
–110th & Broadway
Overheard by: Fatty McFingers
Hipster guy on cell: So you like the kid more than the pussy?
–15th & Washington Sq. W
Overheard by: Joelseph Galasso
Hipster chick: I am so glad my ex-boyfriend and I have become friends again. I mean, I know he sued me and everything, but it just feels so good.
–Brooklyn Lyceum
Guy to girl: So, that’s why you broke up? I don’t blame you — you gotta microwave them first, otherwise they’re too spongey.
–Central Park
Overheard by: newyorkette
Hipster girl #1: …So now I feel really uncomfortable whenever I’m around him.
Hipster girl #2: Why? ‘Cause you had dream sex with him?
–L train
Overheard by: master overhear-er
Girl #1: I don’t have a boyfriend.
Professor guy: Sure, sure, sure..I can go on MySpace.com and find out the truth.
Class: Ha, ha, ha!
Professor guy: What? You think we don’t know about MySpace?
Girl #2: She has a picture of herself in underwear on hers!
–FIT
Old woman: I need to see the lady to get my PIN number to activate my card.
Old man: They sent you your PIN.
Old woman: I need to see that lady over there.
Old man: I’m telling you, you have your PIN already.
Old woman: Just shut your fucking mouth while I see the lady.
–Bank of America, Chambers & Broadway
Overheard by: Anna
Guy: You want to have lunch with me next week?
Girl: Sure, but not on Monday. I’m getting married.
Guy: You are? Really?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: To who? Is it Norman?
Girl: No, it’s whoever my dad chose.
–68th Street station
Overheard by: Babs Monroe
