Religion

Midwestern lady: Do you have to be Jewish to like cheesecake?
Midwestern man: Uhhh…
Midwestern lady: ‘Cause I think Protestant girls can like cheesecake, too.

–2/3 train

Overheard by: Katie Grady

Bible thumper: There is a reason they call it ‘Black Friday.’ This is the end of times, folks. They are here.
Queer working at Alexia Crawford: Man, I can’t wait to be 60 and bitter.

–Union Square

Overheard by: ritechus

JAP #1: Is he a Juddhist?
JAP #2: A what?
JAP #1: You know, a Jew Buddhist.
JAP #2: Oh, yeah, totally.

–7 train

Overheard by: Ein Berliner

Lady #1: Yes, my sister did end up getting pregnant by the guy, but her fiancé doesn’t know yet. She doesn’t know what she is going to do.
Lady #2: What about having an abortion?
Lady #1: Oh, no, she’s Catholic!

–Restaurant, 77th & 3rd

Overheard by: Addie

Angry theology teacher: God created Adam and Eve–
Chick, cutting her off: –Who created God?

–Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island

Old, disgruntled customer: I wish I was young again.
Cashier: Do you believe in reincarnation? You could just kill yourself.

–Deli, Lex Ave, between 38th & 39th

Overheard by: Becki

Clerk: What’s that symbol on your shirt?
Chick: It says ‘Nepal.’
Clerk: What’s Nepal?
Chick: It’s where the Dalai Lama lives.
Clerk: What’s the Dalai Lama? Is that an animal?
Chick: Yeah, it’s like a Yeti.
Clerk: Oh.

–Pelham Pkwy

Overheard by: raginggoatboy

Big, sleazy blonde: Are you fucking kidding me! You’ve never had sex?
Mormon guy: No, I promised myself I would save that for marriage.
Big, sleazy blonde: Oh my fucking goodness. What is this, an audition for the 40-year-old virgin movie?
Mormon guy: Haha, well, I’m not 40 yet.
Big, sleazy blonde: So, what do all you Mormons do when you date?
Mormon guy: Oh, you know — hold hands, talk, long walks on the beach, Scrabble…
Big, sleazy blonde: So, for you Mormons Scrabble is like sex, then?

–Metro North

Overheard by: trying my best not to laugh

Chick #1: So, I talked to your boy this weekend.
Chick #2: Oh, yeah? And?
Chick #1: We talked for a while, and then he fed me this line about, ‘Us being together is what God would want us to do…’
Chick #2: Shit. For real?
Chick #1: Yeah. Damn Jamaicans.

–46th & Park

Overheard by: Rainy days and mondays…

Guy #1: I love making fun of the Amish online.
Guy #2: Why?
Guy #1: Because they’ll never know.

–25th & 3rd

Overheard by: Keegan