A Garland’s Still a Step Up from a Noose, Though

Woman #1: So our department keeps talking about how much they are trying to promote diversity and understanding of others, but get this, two weeks ago they put up garlands over the door! Like, that is so disrespectful to other religions! It gets better though, the next day they put up a plug-in menorah –somebody must have complained.
Woman #2: Oh…
Woman #1: You’re not going to believe this though, just the other day they took down the menorah. How can they be so ignorant of other religions?
Woman #2: Well… Chanukah’s over.

–120th & Amsterdam

Posted on May 11, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Holidays, Judaism, Questions, Religion, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Women

Or Some Strategic Bribery

Passenger, to MTA workers: Excuse me, but does this train stop at 33rd street?
MTA worker #1: With a hope and a prayer.
MTA worker #2: Isn’t that right! Hahaha.

–6 Train

Overheard by: honeybudur

Posted on May 2, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Directions, Laughter, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Religion, Strangers

I Particularly Like the One in Which Sigmund Freud Defeated the Three-Headed Dog

College girl #1: If you believe in any god, you should really resepct all other religions, like mythology gods and shit too!
College girl #2: Who can believe mythology?! That stuff was written like, a hundred years ago!

–TGI Fridays, Times Square

Overheard by: m spot

Posted on April 21, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, History & Geography, Questions, Religion, Restaurants & Cafes, Sorority Girls, Stupidity, Time, Times Square

So Much Classier to Just Hide in the Bushes

Suit #1: Dude, he’s SO strange. You know I walked passed his desk yesterday and he was researching stuff on his computer about religion. Some multicultural shit or something.
Suit #2: Woah.
Suit #1: Yeah, I know. [Pauses.] You know I bet he’s like one of those guys that dates a girl and calls her all the time and stalks her.
Suit #2: Totally.

–Starbucks, 30th and Park

Overheard by: Faetra

Posted on April 3, 2008
Coworkers, Default, Friends, Gossip, Harassment, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Office politics, Psychology, Religion, Starbucks, Suits

God: You’ve Been Punk’d!

Boy: Why am I friends with you? Seriously, why would God punish me like this?
Girl: ‘Cause he’s really Satan?
Boy: Don’t you fucking get all philosophical on my ass now!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Lennon

Posted on March 11, 2008
Boys, Default, Girls, Grand Central, Philosophy, Questions, Religion

The Parable of Wednesday and the One-Liners

Voice on PA system: Attention — if you want to preach, we ask that you please move around the boat. Again, don’t stand in one place; please continue moving around the boat if you want to preach.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Kate

Crazy guy: Ladies and gentlemen, the Bible says that the fire will come in the form of locusts. Ladies and gentlemen, the Apache helicopter created by the U.S. Army is in the shape of locusts. If you don’t believe me, look it up. Please believe me, ladies and gentlemen…

–2 train

Overheard by: beeloo

God Squad guy: Let Jesus be your lawyer! OJ Simpson, Michael Jackson — what did they have? Good lawyers! On Judgment Day, you’re going to need a lawyer! Let Jesus represent you!

–Roosevelt Ave station

Overheard by: How come Jesus didn’t represent himself at the Crucifiction?

Black Jewish preacher: Bad boy, bad boy — whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when Jesus come for you?

–21st St

Man: Everything you see belongs to the Lord. He is willing to save your soul. [Cell phone rings, and he answers] Hi, honey… I’m in the Bronx, preaching… I told you last night, remember? I said, ‘God is telling me to preach in the Bronx.’ Yes, I did tell you! [Hisses] You never fucking listen!

–6 train

Posted on February 27, 2008
About Celebrities, Advice, Anger Management, Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Default, God Squad, Jesus, Jews, Men, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Religion, Staten Island Ferry, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Happy to Be Warm

Angry woman on cell: I don’t care if you are an ordained fucking minister, you can go straight to fucking hell!

–Barnes & Noble, Union Square

Overheard by: Last-minute shopper

Crazy lady into microphone: Just because you don’t do drugs or have sex doesn’t mean you’re not going to hell!

–Subway station, 43rd & Broadway, Times Square

Teacher: Let’s go to hell!

–Stuyvesant High

Hobo: Is this the train to hell? It is! Oh my god, you’re all in purgatory!

–A train, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Geneva

Scruffy artist type, to self: I’m not in hell, I’m in New York. I’m not in hell, I’m in New York…

–Elevator, Bellevue Hospital

Overheard by: David

Posted on February 20, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Artists, Assholes, Crazies, Crazy, Drugs, Education, Hobos, Hospitals, Insults, NYC Geography, On Cell, On the Subway, Only in New York, Psychology, Religion, School, Sex, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teachers/Professors, Union Square and East Village, Women

God: I Know! Did You Hear That Guy?

Guy, about subway preacher’s Bible-thumping: Well, I’m converted. I don’t know about the rest of you. Fucking bastard…

–F train, Rockefeller Center

Posted on February 19, 2008
Guys, On the Subway, Religion

He Prefers You Barefoot and Pregnant

Hardhat #1: God don’t care if you wearin’ a choir robe.
Hardhat #2: Tha’s right.
Hardhat #1: God don’t care if you dressed like a priest.
Hardhat #2: Tha’s right.
Hardhat #1: Because God don’t care how you dressed.

–97th & Riverside Dr

Headline by: 6th Floor Blogger

Runners-Up:
· “God Would Prefer That You Remove the Ball-Gag During Communion” – dan
· “That’s Right. But Could You Please Put on Some Pants?” – Babakganoosh
· “The Undiscovered 11th Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Wear Crocs” – Meg
· “To Sum Up: God Loves Strippers.” – RaindanceRichard

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on February 14, 2008
Blue-collar workers, Clothing, Coworkers, Headline Contest Winners, Religion

Religion