Queer: Dude, I’m so horny, I’m thinking about considering Asians.
–Lil’ Frankies, 1st St
Queer: Dude, I’m so horny, I’m thinking about considering Asians.
–Lil’ Frankies, 1st St
Man: You finally made it.
Woman: Yeah… by the time I wake up, get ready, drive to the train station, take the train, then take the subway to get here all for a ten-minute interview… it’s, like, a total rim job.
Man: Ummm… at least you made it.
–50th & 7th
Elderly clown-whore #1: I mean, how far can you spread yourself?
Elderly clown-whore #2: Oh, yes, you can’t spread yourself very far without your stomach starting to hurt.
Elderly clown-whore #1: Yes, you know how much my stomach hurt that time.
–Astor Garden, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: KittyKat
Girl #1: You wanna try some of my tuna roll?
Girl #2: No, that’s okay. I’ll just eat my box.
–Sushiya, 56th & 5th
Overheard by: Reina
Girl #1: I mean, don’t tell him I told you that. You can’t tell him I said anything, or he will flip his shit.
Girl #2: It’s Vagina Night!
–Rivington & Orchard
Guy #1: You know, I wish I could have sex with two girls, so I can eat two pussies at the same time.
Guy #2: Why don’t you just do what I did? Have sex with a really fat girl so you can have one massive pussy to eat out from.
–Uptown A train
Overheard by: Naidababy
Hipster girl #1: Yeah, so he really slept with her. It’s gross. She looks like a drag queen.
Hipster girl #2: If she really was a drag queen, that would be hot, though.
Hipster girl #1: Yeah.
–Union Square
Queer #1: I’d rather lose my legs than my hands.
Queer #2: I could probably lose a couple of fingers and still be happy.
Queer #1: What if you lost your dick?
Queer #2: I’d just turn it in and make a vagina.
Queer #1: So you’d basically turn yourself into a woman?
Queer #2: No, I’d still be a man, but with a vagina.
Queer #1: But you wouldn’t feel anything.
Queer #2: I’d still use it.
–34th & 2nd
Man: I just don’t get it! Just last night you were complaining about how you never try anything new, but you feel like you should.
Woman: Ok, well ordering the roast duck is a little different than a threesome, Tim.
–13th & 3rd
Overheard by: Todd B
Guy-at-Urinal #1: Out of all my streams of pisses lately, this is the clearest it’s been.
Guy-at-Urinal #2: You don’t say.
Guy-at-Urinal #1: Yeah, I half expected it to be blood red by now.
Guy-at-Urinal #2: That’s because you keep fucking the wrong people.
–Men’s bathroom, Penn Station
Overheard by: imperial frog
