Bimbette #1: God, people in Midtown are sooo ugly.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I know.
Bimbette #1: It’s probably because, like, 85 percent are tourists.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god, I know! Tourists are so ugly.
–Times Square
Bimbette #1: God, people in Midtown are sooo ugly.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, I know.
Bimbette #1: It’s probably because, like, 85 percent are tourists.
Bimbette #2: Oh my god, I know! Tourists are so ugly.
–Times Square
Lady suit at lunch: Actually, I prefer people who are just like me.
–Lower East Side
30-something: Everyone knows my name, and I know everyone’s name.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: acep
20-ish guy looking at reflection in elevator mirror: This is why I love elevators — I get to look at myself. I am so hot. Have you ever realized how hot I am? Yeah, I’m really hot. [Leans in and kisses his reflection.]
–AMA Building, 48th & Broadway
Overheard by: Heather
Guy getting off train: The king is leaving!
–R train
Overheard by: peace out, your highness
Tourist lady #1: Oh, it’s worth paying the cab fare. I mean, the subway…well, after September 11th it’s just not safe, you know?
Tourist lady #2: You’ve ridden the subway before?
Tourist lady #1: No, it smells weird.
–Hunt Valley bus
Overheard by: Katie Cheek
Prospective girl #1: OK, so tomorrow, let’s all wear our “I Heart NY” t-shirts.
Prospective girl #2: Yeah! And I can wear my Columbia sweatshirt over it!
–Morningside Heights
Toddler: Why is Jack-Jack’s name “Jack-Jack”? Why not regular Jack?
Mom: That’s just a nickname. I think his real name is just plain Jack.
Toddler: Can my nickname be Johann-Johann?
–1 train
Overheard by: Matt G
Indian man: You’re the stupidest lady in the world…You see her? She’s the stupidest lady in the world. You are #1!
–7 train
Overheard by: isabelle
A large bearded black man is holding a big white sign that reads: NINJAS KILLED MY FAMILY. I NEED $$ TO LEARN KUNG-FU AND GET REVENGE.
Drunk yuppie: Ha, ha. So dude, are you really going to become a ninja?! Ha, ha!
Black guy: Nah, man. This is just for humor. This ain’t for real.
–Broadway & 76th
Overheard by: M-Co
Woman: Excuse me, can you tell me something? Do I have a hickey on my neck? I have to go to a lunch and I just want to know if I have a hickey on my neck.
–SoHo
Overheard by: kim
Guy on cell: He shoved his hand in so many crevices that they looked like flippers.
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: gypsee
Drunk girl: If Bethany doesn't have legs, nobody has legs.
–1 Train
Overheard by: oliviz
Strange woman, seeing another woman massaging pressure points on friend's ear: She has a headache? It starts in the scrotum.
–M14D Bus
Man, missing stop: This is the problem with having a prostate that's bigger than your brain…you always forget to get off.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: rachel
Girl: She slept with Harry, and she didn't know he only had one hand, and afterward she still didn't know he only had one hand.
–Brother Jimmy's Restaurant
Overheard by: Joe
Drunk girl: Can you put my phone in your pocket?
Friend: But your pants have pockets!
Drunk girl: No, they don’t! That’s just a glitch in the matrix!
–2 train
Woman on telephone, calling someone back after having the call was dropped: Sorry, we were discommunicated.
— Times Square
Cafeteria lady: So, you been good this weekend?
Frat boy: No! Me and my girlfriend got totally shit-faced!
Cafeteria lady: ‘My girlfriend and I.’
Frat boy: What?
Cafeteria lady: ‘My girlfriend and I got totally shit-faced.’
Frat boy: Whoa! You have a girlfriend?! Hardcore!
–NYU
Overheard by: behind them in line.
Girl to spastic friend: I knew you were going to hump me!
Woman passerby: I have no desire to hump you.
–12th & 2nd
