Stupidity

Drunk woman on cell: It’s been Tuesday all day! And tomorrow’s gonna be Tuesday too!

–St. George, Staten Island

Overheard by: johnny

Teen girl: So, if I didn’t pass a drug test, does that mean I, like, failed?

–Pratt

Southern girl: …so I asked her what the “M” on her bag stood for. She was all, “It stands for Margaret, ’cause it’s my name.” And I was all, “Oh, yeah, that makes sense. I keep forgettin’, ’cause we been calling you Maggie.”

–7 train

Overheard by: ProcrastYNate

Asian woman: Excuse me, what time is the 7:17 train?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Adman

British parks guy: Yeh, fishin’ shit outta pools like this is me specialty.
Dude: Yeah, that’s great, but our frisbee is stuck in a tree.
British parks guy: Throwin’ yer frisbee at the birds, eh? You better make sure they don’t come after ye in yer dreams and peck yer fuckin’ eyes out.

–Central Park

Overheard by: NG

White guy: You know, on the Tokyo subways they have people who push passengers onto trains. Uh, have you ever been to Tokyo?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Are you Japanese?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Where you from?
Asian guy: Queens.

–N train

Overheard by: Rich

Mouhbreather: Ralph, what time is 19?
Ralph: 7.
Mouthbreather: 7? Damn.

—-Quizno’s, King’s Highway & Coney Island Ave.

HS boy #1: So you are like Chinese, right?
HS boy #2: No dude, I’m Peruvian.
HS boy #1: Where in China is that?

–4 train

Overheard by: Richard Bird

Woman: How did you get that big scar on your face?
Man: The war in Iraq.
Woman: That’s still going on?

–42nd & Lexington

Overheard by: Jonathan

Guy: Where is the nearest subway?
Girl: We are not eating at Subway.

–Thompson & Bleecker

Overheard by: Charles Star

Teenage girl #1: So Judge Judy is a racist.
Teenage girl #2: Isn’t she in charge of all the New York judges, don’t they all report to her?
Teenage girl #3: Nah, I think she’s just in charge of the TV judges.

–2 train

Overheard by: Lisa Marshall

Trainer: Very good! 25!
Woman: I have to do 25 of them?
Trainer: No, no. You’re lifting 25 pounds.
Woman: 25 and 25 is 50.

–Synergy, Park & 33rd

Chick: I got a washing machine at home but it don’t fit. I got too many clothes.
Guy: Ain’t you never heard of loads?
Chick: What you mean?
Guy: Doing it once at a time.
Chick: Shoot, I be doing clothes forever if I do that shit.

–Herald Square

Overheard by: Trish