British parks guy: Yeh, fishin’ shit outta pools like this is me specialty.
Dude: Yeah, that’s great, but our frisbee is stuck in a tree.
British parks guy: Throwin’ yer frisbee at the birds, eh? You better make sure they don’t come after ye in yer dreams and peck yer fuckin’ eyes out.
–Central Park
Overheard by: NG
White guy: You know, on the Tokyo subways they have people who push passengers onto trains. Uh, have you ever been to Tokyo?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Are you Japanese?
Asian guy: No.
White guy: Oh. Where you from?
Asian guy: Queens.
–N train
Overheard by: Rich
Mouhbreather: Ralph, what time is 19?
Ralph: 7.
Mouthbreather: 7? Damn.
—-Quizno’s, King’s Highway & Coney Island Ave.
HS boy #1: So you are like Chinese, right?
HS boy #2: No dude, I’m Peruvian.
HS boy #1: Where in China is that?
–4 train
Overheard by: Richard Bird
Woman: How did you get that big scar on your face?
Man: The war in Iraq.
Woman: That’s still going on?
–42nd & Lexington
Overheard by: Jonathan
Guy: Where is the nearest subway?
Girl: We are not eating at Subway.
–Thompson & Bleecker
Overheard by: Charles Star
Teenage girl #1: So Judge Judy is a racist.
Teenage girl #2: Isn’t she in charge of all the New York judges, don’t they all report to her?
Teenage girl #3: Nah, I think she’s just in charge of the TV judges.
–2 train
Overheard by: Lisa Marshall
Trainer: Very good! 25!
Woman: I have to do 25 of them?
Trainer: No, no. You’re lifting 25 pounds.
Woman: 25 and 25 is 50.
–Synergy, Park & 33rd
Chick: I got a washing machine at home but it don’t fit. I got too many clothes.
Guy: Ain’t you never heard of loads?
Chick: What you mean?
Guy: Doing it once at a time.
Chick: Shoot, I be doing clothes forever if I do that shit.
–Herald Square
Overheard by: Trish
Schoolgirl: …then the teacher said “Silence”. Silence is just a fancy word for “Shut the fuck up”.
–Union Square station
Black mom: Spatula, I’ve got two words for you: be-have!
–6th Avenue salon
Boy, 8: Sorry, Dad. I had to stop because my peg-leg got stuck!
–Park Slope
