Wednesday One-Liners Watch the Nature Channel

Keen observer: They’re fuckin’ cowards, man! Mountain lions are cowards, too.

–12th & Bedford, Brooklyn

Loud girl on cell: Well don’t ask me! I don’t know anything about the mechanics of whale sex!

–9th Ave

Subway conductor: Please enter the train as human beings, not wild animals.

–23rd St F station

Guy: Yeah that reminds me of my first time. He took me to dinner but was too nice and perfect. Then in bed he made animal noises and his cat was like between us and he didn’t kick it out of bed.

–Nowhere bar, 14th St between 1st and 2nd

Posted on July 12, 2006
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Girls, Guys, On Cell, Sex & Relationships, Subway conductors, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Union Square and East Village

The One Where Ross and Chandler Fix the Boss Up With Aunt Trudy

40-Something man: Nice Kermit tie. Now all you need are Kermit socks.
50-Something man: But no one would see them! Plus, my boss would be mad I’m stealing all his cool. My Aunt Trudy used to wear funky socks like that, and whenever all the kids would be at her house, they would surround her and laugh at her socks.
40-Something man: That’s cool!

–A train

Overheard by: So iheart your face

Posted on July 10, 2006
Family Ties, Fashion, Men, On the Subway, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Def Tragedy Jam

Drugged out gangsta kid #1: I got mad depth perception, yo.
Drugged out gangsta kid #2: Yo, do you know what that means?
Drugged out gangsta kid #1: Yeah, I can see really good out one eye.
Drugged out gangsta kid #2: No, man. Deaf means you can’t hear shit!

–L train platform, Union Square

Posted on July 8, 2006
Disabilities, Druggies, Gangstas, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Union Square and East Village

When You Become an American Citizen, You Have to Forget Everything You Know About Geography

Indian guy: Hey, what country are you from?
Asian girl: Tibet.
Indian guy: So you live in Tokyo?

–F Train

Posted on July 8, 2006
Asians, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, On the Subway, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Don’t Blame the Victim

Chick #1 It’s not like I told him I wasn’t wearing underwear. He asked me. I was so offended!
Chick #2: But you don’t wear underwear, and you were wearing a see-through top.
Chick #1: OK, that’s totally not the point.

–1 train uptown platform, 28th St

Posted on June 18, 2006
Bimbettes, Clothing, Idiots, Pick-up Lines, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

He’s Practically in Jersey

Annoucement: Attention transit police. Please respond. There is a passenger harrassing peeople on the southbound platform.

Wait 30 seconds… Announcement repeats three times. Guy on platform takes off his headphones.

Headphone guy: Wait — What was that about the harrassing?

Other guy on platform: Oh, you don’t have to worry — he’s on the southbound platform.

Headphone guy [puts his headphones on again]: Cool.

–18th St 1/9 stop, northbound platform

Overheard by: diana

Posted on May 6, 2006
Coworkers, Jobs & Careers, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Good, but Irrelevant

Young guy #1: So are you doing anything for Cinco de Mayo?
Young guy #2: Uh, I guess I’ll just go out like regular.
Young guy #1: Yeah, that’s cool.
Young guy #2: Actually, one of my friends knows a ton of Puerto Rican people, so that’ll be good.
Young guy #1: Um…yeah…

–6 train

Overheard by: Saltman

Posted on May 5, 2006
Guys, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On the Subway, Subway stations, platforms, etc., White People

She’ll Make It in This Town

Mother: You know that she has learning disabilities, right? You know what it means when someone has a learning disability?
Eight-year-old girl: I should get myself a lawyer. No one ever tells me anything.

–1 train from 86th

Overheard by: David Lock

Posted on May 2, 2006
Kids, Lawyers, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Retards & Handicaps, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

A Strike Is Just a Vacation with Jail Time

Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound…
[Long pause] Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train…oh damnit.
[long pause] Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train approaching Nevins Avenue.
Guy: It’s Nevins Street, lady! The stop before that is Atlantic Avenue.
Lady: That person needs to go the fuck back on strike. She went 0 for fucking 3.

–Nevins Street station

Overheard by: Luke

Posted on April 24, 2006
Brooklyn, Men, NYC Geography, People, Subway conductors, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Women

Week Old Navy?

Black girl #1: Yo, she’s not fly! That girl is fresh. Always buying stuff at Old Navy and wearing it the next day.
Black girl #2: Yeah, when I buy clothes, I let them sit in the closet for a week, until I feel like wearing them.

–R train

Posted on April 18, 2006
Black People, Fashion, Girls, On the Subway, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Subway stations, platforms, etc.