Chick #1 It’s not like I told him I wasn’t wearing underwear. He asked me. I was so offended!
Chick #2: But you don’t wear underwear, and you were wearing a see-through top.
Chick #1: OK, that’s totally not the point.
–1 train uptown platform, 28th St
Annoucement: Attention transit police. Please respond. There is a passenger harrassing peeople on the southbound platform.
Wait 30 seconds… Announcement repeats three times. Guy on platform takes off his headphones.
Headphone guy: Wait — What was that about the harrassing?
Other guy on platform: Oh, you don’t have to worry — he’s on the southbound platform.
Headphone guy [puts his headphones on again]: Cool.
–18th St 1/9 stop, northbound platform
Overheard by: diana
Young guy #1: So are you doing anything for Cinco de Mayo?
Young guy #2: Uh, I guess I’ll just go out like regular.
Young guy #1: Yeah, that’s cool.
Young guy #2: Actually, one of my friends knows a ton of Puerto Rican people, so that’ll be good.
Young guy #1: Um…yeah…
–6 train
Overheard by: Saltman
Mother: You know that she has learning disabilities, right? You know what it means when someone has a learning disability?
Eight-year-old girl: I should get myself a lawyer. No one ever tells me anything.
–1 train from 86th
Overheard by: David Lock
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound…
[Long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train…oh damnit.
[long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train approaching Nevins Avenue.
Guy: It’s Nevins Street, lady! The stop before that is Atlantic Avenue.
Lady: That person needs to go the fuck back on strike. She went 0 for fucking 3.
–Nevins Street station
Overheard by: Luke
Black girl #1: Yo, she’s not fly! That girl is fresh. Always buying stuff at Old Navy and wearing it the next day.
Black girl #2: Yeah, when I buy clothes, I let them sit in the closet for a week, until I feel like wearing them.
–R train
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this Q train is currently making local stops due to the 12 cups of snow outside.
–Q train
Girl: The fuckin’ R train is a motherfuckin’ myth. I swear to god, it’s the fuckin’ unicorn: only fools and virgins can see it.
–Canal Street N/Q/R/W station
Guy: Yo, are we takin’ the elevator upstairs, or what?
Girl: No, lazy-ass. We takin’ the stairs.
Guy: Yo, I done told you that I just ate and I don’t wanna work it off!
–14th Street A/C/E station
Overheard by: Grace
Hobo: Miss, you dropped some change…Miss, aren’t you gonna pick that up?
Catholic School girl: They’re all facing tails!
Hobo: Shit!
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Mr.Man
