Mother: You know that she has learning disabilities, right? You know what it means when someone has a learning disability?
Eight-year-old girl: I should get myself a lawyer. No one ever tells me anything.
–1 train from 86th
Overheard by: David Lock
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound…
[Long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train…oh damnit.
[long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train approaching Nevins Avenue.
Guy: It’s Nevins Street, lady! The stop before that is Atlantic Avenue.
Lady: That person needs to go the fuck back on strike. She went 0 for fucking 3.
–Nevins Street station
Overheard by: Luke
Black girl #1: Yo, she’s not fly! That girl is fresh. Always buying stuff at Old Navy and wearing it the next day.
Black girl #2: Yeah, when I buy clothes, I let them sit in the closet for a week, until I feel like wearing them.
–R train
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this Q train is currently making local stops due to the 12 cups of snow outside.
–Q train
Girl: The fuckin’ R train is a motherfuckin’ myth. I swear to god, it’s the fuckin’ unicorn: only fools and virgins can see it.
–Canal Street N/Q/R/W station
Guy: Yo, are we takin’ the elevator upstairs, or what?
Girl: No, lazy-ass. We takin’ the stairs.
Guy: Yo, I done told you that I just ate and I don’t wanna work it off!
–14th Street A/C/E station
Overheard by: Grace
Hobo: Miss, you dropped some change…Miss, aren’t you gonna pick that up?
Catholic School girl: They’re all facing tails!
Hobo: Shit!
–Columbus Circle station
Overheard by: Mr.Man
Lady: A lot of people came off this train. Why aren’t you people moving in?
Guy: There’s a baby stroller in the back.
Lady: Well, they should move it. Move it over to the side!
Guy: Move a tiny infant baby? Everybody, look! This lady right here is the Antichrist! Move the baby? You the Antichrist!
–6 train
Girl: Why do they have to be so rude here?
Guy: I feel like I’ve been gang raped with a 12 inch loaf.
–Subway, Rockefeller Center concourse
Speaker: Hello?
Guy: We’ve been waiting for like an hour. Any trains coming?
Speaker: Hold on, let me see…Hello, anyone there?
Guy: Yeah, we’re here. There any trains coming?
Speaker: There’s an police investigation at Broadway. I think someone got pushed onto the tracks and run over.
Guy: But are there any trains coming?
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Mikey J.
