Talking/Convos

At the Male Fantasy Semifinals

Eastern European girl: Jimmy* is a dirty boy.
Asian girl: Really? Why is Jimmy a dirty boy?
Eastern European girl: He said dirty things to me online.
Asian girl: He said dirty things to you online? Like what?
Eastern European girl: I don’t want to talk about it right now.
Asian girl: Does he make you uncomfortable?
Eastern European girl: Yeah, sometimes he does — like, when he tells me to send him pictures of myself with my shirt off.
Asian girl: Does it make you scared?
Eastern European girl: No, I just don’t have any pictures of myself with my shirt off.
Asian girl: Then why don’t you take some?
Eastern European girl: I don’t know.
Asian girl: You know what? I’ll help you. I’ll go to your house right now and take some pictures of you with your shirt off, and then you can send them to Jimmy, okay?
Eastern European girl: Okay.

–Downtown 6 train

Just Send Me a Fax

Hobo #1: Hey, how's it going?
Hobo #2: Okay.
Hobo #1: I'll call you tonight!
Hobo #2: I don't have a phone.
Hobo #1: I know.

–Astoria

Overheard by: Natalie

The Time Traveler is Genuinely Disoriented

Guy: You go ahead, take that seat.
Girl: No, that’s okay, I’m getting off soon.
Guy: So am I! Take it.
Hobo: What’s all this nicey-nice bullshit? Where are we, fucking Michigan? Fucking England?

–1 train

Overheard by: Emily Borgen

Blame the Dawson’s Creek Song

Suit: My friends told me that you told them that I’d hijacked you. We’ve only dated for a week. For so many reasons it’s not going to work out.
Girl: I don’t understand how someone can just say it’s not going to work out. You know everything about me: my family, my life, all about me. I shared everything this week. I would have held back if I’d known.
Suit: …It’s like I have sticker shock…You are just a much more fun, engaged person than me.
Girl: I don’t understand someone who can just say it’s not going to work out. How can you just say it’s not going to work out?
Suit: Can’t we be friends? That’s why I asked you to meet me here.
Girl: Well, at least we slept together this week. I never wait. I’m so glad we didn’t wait.

–Esashi, Avenue A

Speaking Algebraic

Guy #1: He’s not down with it.
Guy #2: What do you mean, he’s not down with it?
Guy #1: Don’t worry, he’s going to be down with it.
Guy #2: How’s he going to be down with it?
Guy #1: We’ll make him down with it.

–Ave. A

“Try telling her that.”

Guy: Wait, you had anal sex?
Girl: Yeah. It really hurt.
Guy: Well, what did you expect? Why did you do it?
Girl: You have to try everything once, just as my mother told me.
Guy: I don’t think you’re meant to include anal.

–Umi Sushi, 2nd Avenue

It’s Very Cute

Hipster girl: I haven’t seen any of your Facebook pictures, and I’ve been your friend for like a year!
Hipster boy: Really? You should.
Hipster girl: I’m checking them right now.
Hipster boy: Let me warn you, though — there are a lot of pictures of my penis on there.
Hipster girl: Oh, I’m used to that.

–Apple Store, 5th Ave

It’s Even Funnier If They Had

Doorman: Where is the building you’re looking for?
Lady: It’s on 40th.
Doorman: 40th and what?
Lady: I’m almost positive they said between Sixth and Avenue of the Americas.

–40th between 5th & 6th

Overheard by: conor hogan

“What do you mean, you’re an Average Joe?”

Woman #1: She had been dating him for, like, two years and then she saw him on a reality dating show last night. Now she’s going break up with him.
Woman #2: Well, maybe the show was filmed before they were dating. You know, sometimes those things take a while to get on the air.
Woman #1: They were going out for 2 years! Don’t you think he should have at least mentioned to her, “By the way, I was on a dating show”?

–Duane Reade, 52nd between Madison & Park

Overheard by: Captain Obvious

Lick This and Tell Me It’s Not Delicious

Thug #1: What is that?
Thug #2 with safe-sex gift bag: One of them dental dams.
Thug #3: What’s it taste like?
Thug #2, licking it: Mmm.
Thug #3 takes it, licks it: Mmm.
Thug #1: I swear, I need to leave you in the ghetto. Damn, can’t even take you niggas out to eat!

–Uptown 1 train

Overheard by: Can’t help you there

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