Little boy: What’s the “n word,” Dad?
Dad: I’m not gonna tell you.
Little boy: Why?
Mom: It’s worse than all the other words because it makes specific people feel bad.
Dad: You don’t need to know it. It’s one of those things you’ll learn when you get older. You’ll learn a lot of bad things when you get older.
–Barnes and Noble, Astor Place
Overheard by: Ben
You’ll learn all this and more, at 7PM on Wednesday night at the store above. Please come join us as we discuss and sign our new book.
Queer: You know who I feel really bad for? Really ugly people.
–Mug’z Sports Bar, Belmont
Woman: Excuse me, can you recommend anything from the menu?
Waiter guy: No.
–Shopsin’s General Store, Carmine Street
Girl: I was walking and there was a group of Dominicans talking on the corner and the only reason I understood what they were saying was because I’ve been listening to a lot of reggaeton.
Guy: They must’ve been talking about fucking someone.
–West 4th & Thompson
Overheard by: Angel V.
Chick: I’ve already slept with 6 professors and it’s only two weeks
into the semester.
Guy: Tell me about it. I slept with this one prof last night…he really taught me a thing or two.
–4th & Mercer
Overheard by: Timothy Leary
Suit: I just wish that, just once, I could walk into the bathroom at work without it smelling like three week old dead hookers.
–8th between 17th & 18th
Drunk guy: you’re not taking money out, you’re taking each other out!
Pair of fruitfucks!
–15th & 8th
Girl: But, I mean, it’s not like I ever plan on giving birth.
Guy: Well, if your mother gave birth, it’s like your chances are good that you’ll give birth too.
Girl: …Uh, dude, your mother gave birth.
Guy: Absolutely.
–Park Slope
Guy #1: I don’t mind getting old; I love getting old.
Guy #2: Yeah, just as long as you don’t get pregnant.
–Grove & Bleecker
Queer: But wait, is English a race?
Guy passerby: Holy shit, that’s going on Overheard tomorrow.
–Bleecker & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Guy passerby #2
Drunk chick #1: I have the best blind date story ever.
Drunk chick #2: Oh yeah?
Drunk chick #1: My sister’s friend flew from Australia to LA for a blind date, and she ended up flying to Aruba with the guy and marrying him like a week later.
Drunk chick #2: Wow. That’s awesome!
Drunk chick #1: But I think she was just, like, 35 and desperate to get married.
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: djlindee
