Jersey tourist: It's so confusing that on the train first goes Newark Penn Station followed by New York Penn Station.
New Yorker: It's to weed out the weak.
–Mulberry Street
Jersey tourist: It's so confusing that on the train first goes Newark Penn Station followed by New York Penn Station.
New Yorker: It's to weed out the weak.
–Mulberry Street
Fat tourist: Exactly, like, I know Disney trivia, but of course I don't know general trivia.
–Ellis Island
Overheard by: Cat
Female tourist with Irish accent, reading leaflet: Jaysas lads, it only took them 14 months to build this, I wonder if it's okay like.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: joanie
Tourist gazing up at the Empire State Building: They sure could fit a lotta hay in there!
–Outside Empire State Building
Overheard by: Duppy
Tourist: Where do they keep the cemeteries around here?
–Next to St. Paul's Cemetery/Church
Female tourist: Oh my god, I can't believe we're on the 6… Just like J.Lo.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Courtney C.
Overzealous British tourist father, pointing at map: Okay, everyone. We're passing by Madison Square Gardens. They must be lovely at this time of year. We're on the Metropolitan Line, see? The Met Line. Just like in London. We're going to get off at Rector Street. It's the last stop before Brooklyn, so if we miss our stop, we'll be in Brooklyn, and we don't want that! Look, now there are no more numbers. When there are no more numbers in the station names, that means we're at the bottom of the underground. Oh, look, it's Chinatown. This is where all the orientals get off.
–R Line
Overheard by: office peon is one of those Orientals…
Female tourist: Know what? Fuck it, I just want to go back to my hotel room and take a shit.
–Canal St
Tourist on shuttle headed towards Grand Central: I'm sorry, how do I get to Times Square?
Guy: Take this train two stops.
–Times Square
Tourist girl [standing in middle of busy sidewalk]: Oh, excuse me! [spins around] Oh! [turns around] Omigod! Like, I just ran into like four people and I’m not even walking!
City guy: Try walking.
Tourist girl: What?
City guy [reluctantly drawn in]: Look, in New York most people aboveground get where they’re going by walking. The sidewalks are the main roads in the city.
Tourist girl: [blank stare]
City guy [getting frustrated]: If you were driving on a busy road, you wouldn’t just stop or take random turns in traffic without checking your mirrors or signaling, right?
Tourist girl: How do I signal?
–43rd & Broadway
Fat tourist: A, I hate Spongebob. B, I’ll see you over the summer.
–R train
Overheard by: Laurea de Ocampo
Tourist #1, pointing to the Met: It looks just like the Louv-rey in Paris.
Tourist #2: Oh my god, that is like the best museum.
–91st & 5th
Asian student on cell: Yeah, I haven’t had time to go shopping. I’ve had all this school work to do… Yeah, me either — I haven’t been since, like, Saturday… I miss shopping, too.
–NYU computer lab
Overheard by: Cpt. Kate
Bimbette: We should go to Boston to go to the big Victoria’s Secret. It would be, like, the most rational thing we’ve ever done.
–Fordham University RamVan
Overheard by: wishmewell
Three-year-old Barenaked Ladies fan: Mommy, if I had a lot of money, I’d buy you a green dress.
–59th & Lex
Overheard by: But not a real green dress, that’s cruel
Texan: Don’t you have malls here? Well, I guess New York is like one big strip mall.
–23rd St & Lex
Overheard by: Not a Texan
Tourist bimbo: What mall is this?
–Outside Bloomberg office tower, 59th & Lex
Overheard by: Russ Wall
Tourist Chick #1: There’s a subway on every corner in New York.
Tourist Chick #2: Really? Wow. How about the trains?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: rei-ray
Teenage tourist: This is so cool! It’s like everything you see on TV but real!
–Times Square
Overheard by: scott
Tourist girl: Excuse me, does this bus go to 61st?
Bus driver: Yeah.
Tourist girl: How much is it?
Bus driver: 20 bucks… or a kiss [points to cheek].
Tourist girl: Okay!
Friend: What is with you and public transportation workers?!
–Bus stop, 49th & Madison
