Security guy: Where you from?
Tourist: Amsterdam.
Security guy, gesturing broadly to the view: This was once all yours!
–Empire State Building
Security guy: Where you from?
Tourist: Amsterdam.
Security guy, gesturing broadly to the view: This was once all yours!
–Empire State Building
Tourist girl to another: Oh my god, yes! Yeah, we’ll just walk back. Times Square is like a couple blocks away.
–11th St
Tourist, about Rent: Is this show always about Christmas time? Because I know there are some shows that they update for each season.
–Nederlander Theatre
Tourist lady: Tree! Where are you?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Robert
Tourist, navigating crowds: Oh my god! I, like, feel like Anne Frank.
–49th & 8th
Overheard by: Claustrophobic
Tourist: Where’s a Duane What’s-his-nuts when you need it?
–45th & 8th
Overheard by: Ben Smith
Tourist girl: … Are we in a dungeon?
–Track 4, Penn Station
Hobo, singing: If you want my body, and you think I’m sexy, baby won’t you tell me so?
Tourist woman: You go, girl!
Hobo: Yo! I’m a guy!
–R train
Tourist lady #1, about Barbara Walters nearby: Wow. She looks young.
Tourist lady #2: Please — she’s got makeup on.
–47th & 8th
Overheard by: Dan
Tourist: What’s the name of the movie?
Busy cameraman: Gone with the Wind, Part Two.
Tourist, walking away: Well, that’s a smart-ass answer.
–Movie set, 53rd & Broadway
Overheard by: crew sympathizer
Tourist #1: Hmmm, I want to eat someplace funky…
Tourist #2: What about that? That looks funky.
Tourist #1: Mmm, no… Oh, look — Cosi! Sandwiches, wine, and dessert. Now that looks funky. Let’s go be crazy.
–50th & Broadway
Overheard by: CrazyMickey
Tourist spawn #1: Oooh! Mommy, look at that! An eyeball cushion! Can we go in?
Tourist spawn #2: Yeah! Mommy, can we go in?
Tourist mother: No! Any time there is a bunch of strange stuff in a store, you know it is expensive.
–292 Lafayette St
Tourista #1, about street sign with large bend in middle: Why does the Gershwin Way sign have a curve in it like that?
Tourista #2: I think it’s to symbolize Gershwin’s music.
New Yorker passerby: A truck backed into it, ya stupid bitches.
–NW corner, E 50 St & Broadway
Overheard by: Big Larry
Horrified tourist chick #1: Oh my god, did you see that?
Horrified tourist chick #2: I think it’s a sex shop!
Horrified tourist chick #1: No!
–St. Mark’s Pl
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Drunk woman in long fur coat: Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me! I gotta pee!
Tourist: Yeah, we’ve been waiting for a while. [Nods in direction of unattended mop soaking in bucket, and laughs] I mean, you could always use that thing, I guess.
Drunk woman: Okay, alright — just tell me if anyone is coming! [Hikes up coat and begins to pee in bucket.]Tourist: Jesus Christ! I’ve been here one day, and I’m responsible for encouraging public urination.
–Line for restroom, McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: wish i’d thought of that
