Man: …and three plain cheeseburgers.
Cashier: Plain? Does that mean you want those with cheese, or not?
–McDonald’s, St. Mark’s Place
Man: …and three plain cheeseburgers.
Cashier: Plain? Does that mean you want those with cheese, or not?
–McDonald’s, St. Mark’s Place
Guy #1: It’s a lunch date.
Guy #2: It’s lunch, but it’s not a date. Man, she’s a midget!
–Union Square
Girl: Later at night, my tongue gets sore because I’ve been playing with it so much.
–St. Mark’s Place
Lady: Excuse me sir, can I bum a ciga…oh, you’re smoking a joint.
–3rd Ave. & 12th Street
Overheard by: David H
Gay man #1: You should stop doing coke and just do ecstasy, because the coke makes you a shady bitch.
Gay man #2: Are you on coke right now?
–East Village
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Scientologist: Ma’am, are you interested in taking a free stress test?
Woman: Hell no. I don’t need no freako to tell me I’m stressed. I already know that.
–Union Square station
Protestor: I really want to get arrested. What do you think I should do?
–After a protest outside Stuyvesant Church, East Village
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine.
–Varick Street
Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken!
–Alt.coffee, Avenue A
Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
Broker #1: That dog is really cute.
Broker #2: Yeah, but we still need more coke.
–St. Mark’s Place & 2nd Ave.
Overheard by: Kate
Girl #1: …you think it would have been OK, all I had was a pastrami sandwich.
Girl #2: Well, that’ll certainly keep him out of your butt for a while…
–2nd St. & Ave. A
