Cashier: Girl, will you take over for me? I need a break.
Employee: What for?
Cashier: I gotta go scratch my booty.
–Gristedes on W 4th St
Cashier: Girl, will you take over for me? I need a break.
Employee: What for?
Cashier: I gotta go scratch my booty.
–Gristedes on W 4th St
Queer #1: I can’t believe he did that.
Queer #2: What? If you wanted me to pee on you, I would. That’s how much I love you.
–Greenwich Ave & Perry
Overheard by: John
Chinese girl: [in Chinese] Your luck just ran out.
Black girl: What the fuck did she say?
Chinese passerby: You are fucked.
–W 4th & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Ting
Kid, as blind woman passes by: You know why you should never jump a blind person?
Friend: Why?
Kid: One, they could fight back like Daredevil. Two, it’s just cruel. And three, you can’t hit ’em in the face ’cause they’re used to it. All fallin’ down the stairs all the time…
–6th Ave & Spring St
Overheard by: connor
Black guy #1: Yo man, I hate when it’s fucking raining like this.
Black guy #2: Yeah, that’s why we got this blunt.
Together: Yeah!
–Duane Reade, W 4th
Chick #1: So I got my Botox the other day, and —
Chick #2: Wait, you use Botox? Why?
Chick #1: Um, because my insurance covers it? Duh?
–White Horse Tavern, Hudson St
Overheard by: C.I.
Woman #1: I call her a dirty slag, she calls me a fat cow. You know.
Woman #2: Yeah.
Woman #1: But she says it in the most proper British accent, so I don’t really mind.
Woman #2: Yeah, if I’m insulted in a foreign language, what do I care?
–13th & 7th
Tourist lady #1, holding dress: Hmmm… I think I’m going to get the red one because it’s more Asian than the other ones. Right?
Tourist lady #2: Yeah, red is definitely more Asian.
–Souvenir shop, Mott St
Overheard by: Sannie
Barista: What happened to your fist?
Queer: An AC bit it.
Barista: Really?
Queer: Yeah.
Barista: Nice story.
Queer: Well, it’s better than my story before.
Barista: Which was?
Queer: I told people it was a fisting accident: he sneezed! People didn’t respond too well.
–St. Marks
Overheard by: fran
JAP: Aww, but you two would be the perfect couple!
Queer: Why?
JAP: Because you’re both gay!
–French Roast Cafe, W 11th St
Overheard by: mound charger
