Lady: I was fighting with this guy and his dog was in the room; that dog bit me.
–Cobble Hill
Overheard by: d.luxxe
Lady: I was fighting with this guy and his dog was in the room; that dog bit me.
–Cobble Hill
Overheard by: d.luxxe
Guy #1: Is she blind or something?
Guy #2: No, she’s Christian.
Guy #1: Oh…Same thing I guess.
–11th & B
Teen boy: Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, my name is Dwayne and I am in a program that keeps me and other kids like me off the street. They have us sell candy for $1. All profits go directly to the youth program that keeps us off the street. If you would like to purchase Snickers, Twix or Starburst, they are only $1.
Hobo: Hey, lady! Hey, fat lady! Buy some candy. You like candy, don’t you? Fat lady! Get some candy! Get some!
Lady: Asshole.
–6 train
Overheard by: Lydia M
Woman: I mean, what kind of person marches their daughter into their sixth grade class and announces that their daughter just ate a whole chicken? Who does that? I never forgave her for that.
–Nails & More, Broadway between 98th & 99th
Overheard by: Jennifer Anderson
Tourist lady #1: Sweeney Todd…I heard that’s a spoof on a cooking show.
Tourist lady #2: Oh, is it about Julia Child?
Tourist lady #1: I think so.
–49th between Broadway & 8th
Woman: The color of the car is not burgundy; it’s purple.
Man: No, I think it’s burgundy.
Woman: No, it’s purple. I should know what purple is, I used to have purple hair.
Man: …You had purple hair?…When did you have purple hair?
–58th between 8th & 9th
Nancy Bass: I’m pleased to welcome David Foster Wallace to our store. Recently, in the New York Times, renowned reviewer Ma…cocoa… Kaku…chooni…?
Thereupon David Foster Wallace gave the thumbs up.
–The Strand
Woman: Well, they can run like $400 a ticket.
Man: $400 a ticket? Christ, woman, you’re gonna make me have a baby!
–51st & Broadway
Overheard by: Morgan & Pam Bays
God Squad lady: Lord, help me. I don’t know which way to turn.
Guy: Turn left.
–Penn Station
White woman: Hi, are you Jermaine?
White male nurse: Do I look like a Jermaine to you?
–ER, Columbia Presbyterian
Overheard by: Ann
Headline by: Jared Rizzi
Runners-Up:
· “He’s Already Calling Himself Jasmine Before the Sex-Change Has Even Started.” – johnny-G
· “I’m Michael, Dammit!” – davey j.
· “My Name Tag Clearly Reads “Michael Jackson: Pediatrics”” – Matt T.
· “No, But How Many Male Nurses Are on Staff Here?” – Mike Duh Medic
· “You Look More Like an Asshole, but I Thought I’d Give You the Benefit Of the Doubt” – I never win
