Woman: Is there a specific exhibit you’d like to see?
Man: Yeah, I want to see the dinosaurs!
–The Met
Overheard by: Susie
Woman: Is there a specific exhibit you’d like to see?
Man: Yeah, I want to see the dinosaurs!
–The Met
Overheard by: Susie
Woman: Damn, that Mexican is hungry.
Mexican with 10 bags: I’m the delivery boy, you dumb fuck.
–100th & Broadway
Overheard by: robby b
Woman #1: Want to come out with me and Brian tomorrow night?
Woman #2: No thanks. I have plans.
Woman #1: Well ok. I’ll see you. Have fun with those warm bananas.
–F train
Woman #1: She got a booty do
Woman #2: A booty do?
Woman #1: Yeah, you know, when your belly stick out more than your booty do?
–4 train
Woman #1: And I told him, I mean, you wanna gamble, you got to go to Las Vegas or Atlantic City. You out there gamblin in Brooklyn where they don’t give you part credit if you part right.
Woman #2: Mmm hmmm.
Woman #1: They lost 10,000 in one day. If you in Las Vegas, at least it’s still a trip. Go outside and get on the roller coaster. Get some buffet. But if you in Brooklyn, you still in Brooklyn when you done gamblin.
–4/5 train
Man: I can’t believe how many immigrants there are.
Woman: Send ’em all back, what do I care.
Man: Isn’t, like, your mom an immigrant? We all came from immigrants, you know.
Woman: Wah wah, send ’em back.
–D train, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Lauren Michelle
Woman #1: And who the hell told you that junk!
Woman #2: It was Bessie.
Woman #1: Bessie! Oh I’m gonna slap that bitch to sleep!
–Madison & 42nd
Overheard by: Ozzy VonHammer
Woman: I know. Haven’t they figured out yet that if you hang around The Nation long enough, you’ll get hired?
Man: They hire anyone.
–elevator, The Nation building
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound…
[Long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train…oh damnit.
[long pause]
Woman on speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, there is an express bound Manhattan train approaching Nevins Avenue.
Guy: It’s Nevins Street, lady! The stop before that is Atlantic Avenue.
Lady: That person needs to go the fuck back on strike. She went 0 for fucking 3.
–Nevins Street station
Overheard by: Luke
Woman on cell: No, I mean, whatever. I cried for that baby when it died and all. Shit! I even went to its funeral and the damn thing wasn’t even born! Who the fuck has a funeral for a baby that wasn’t even born?…Whatever, that’s not the point. The point is, I’m sure as hell not going to a birthday party for a baby whose funeral I went to a year ago. That is fucking morbid…and they had better not be expecting presents.
–14th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Laura Mathis
Girl on cell: Wait, was this the eating disorder cousin or the crack dealer cousin?…Oh, she’s having a baby? Wow, I hope it doesn’t die.
–Waverly & University
Asian chick: Like you’ve ever even seen a baby prostitute.
–56th between 5th & 6th
Guy: No, she was four months pregnant when I started dating her. But I certainly did bathe the baby in sperm!
–Hungarian Pastry Shop, Amsterdam Avenue
Girl: I’m not sure, but we are thinking of putting the baby in the closet; it’s small but we can fit a crib in there and keep the door open.
–12th Street & 3rd Avenue
Teen girl: It was the saddest thing ever. It was almost as sad as watching a baby cough.
–F train
Overheard by: drewseph
Chick: Omigod, I totally want an Asian baby. Asians make the best mixers. Like vodka.
–49th & 10th
Overheard by: Uncle Jimmy
