Woman: What’s this one called?
Man, leaning in to read the card: Please Don’t Touch.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Andrew Toutain
Woman: What’s this one called?
Man, leaning in to read the card: Please Don’t Touch.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Andrew Toutain
Woman on cell: Yeah, my flight to Kansas City is delayed…Well it’s either this or back to the mental institution.
–Women’s restroom, LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: morgan from missouri
Woman #1: On days as hot as this, it’s okay not to wear panties!
Woman #2: I don’t know about that. I like to keep it all in there.
Woman #3: Yeah, I agree. I don’t want anything to be drippin’.
–Willoughby & Carlton, Brooklyn
Overheard by: BZD
Little boy, to passerby: That’s why I ejaculated in your mom’s nose!
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Chick: See, I don’t like the idea of drinking semen not directly from the cock.
–Harlem
Overheard by: McN
Woman #1: You said 28th and 7th.
Woman #2: I told you 27th and 8th.
Woman #1: You did not.
Woman #2: Yes, I did.
Woman #1: I know what you said ’cause I got a photogenic memory. You said 27th and 8th.
Woman #2: That’s what I’m saying.
Woman #1: Fuck you then.
–28th & 7th
Overheard by: Akd
Old-lady candy-pusher: I be sellin’ candy for the school. I have M&Ms and Jujyfruits and Almond Joy with and without the nuts.
Drunken gay guy: Nobody wants your candy. It probably has razor blades in it and shit. Just go away.
Old-lady candy-pusher: Look at you talkin’. You are the anti man!
–downtown 2 train
Overheard by: Stefanie
Man: Wow, you’re here already? That was quick.
Woman: Yeah, if I was Adam Sandler I would have said, “That was click!”
–West 44th St
Overheard by: Tomer Langberg
Thirty-something mom: Just to be clear, it isn’t a vibrator. It’s just a dildo.
–TKTS line
Guy on cell: So you’re expecting the crackhead’s knife to be sterilized?
–outside Grand Central
Metro New York lady: Is your girlfriend coming today?
AM New York man: I ain’t got none of those.
–Union Square
Woman holding baby: Excuse me, what did you say?
Woman with clipboard: I asked you if you would like to join the Democratic Party.
Woman holding baby: No, I’m not poor!
–Washington Square Park
