Women

Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?

–14th & University

Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.

–Walker & Lafayette

Overheard by: Wolf

Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.

–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: nosy cinephile

Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.

–13th & University

Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?

–Office, W 36th St

Overheard by: Evan

Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.

–Tea Lounge, Park Slope

Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!

–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport

White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?

–Walgreens, Union Square

Overheard by: Goldie

Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.

–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St

Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!

–Tompkins Square Park

Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.

–Century 21

Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!

–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th

Overheard by: Shaina

Woman #1: He likes to take the kids camping every summer.
Woman #2: I never would have thought he’d enjoy all that outdoorsy stuff.
Woman #1: Well, he’s very non-Jewish.

–Ladies’ room, midtown office building

Woman on cell: Ooh, so you’re wearing your birthday suit?
Little girl, screaming: What?! Daddy is wearing his birthday suit?! It’s not his birthday!
Woman: Honey! You can’t say that this loudly on the train!
Little girl, five minutes later: So I still don’t understand what a birthday suit is.
Little boy: I told you already! It’s a suit that dad got on his birthday, and he found it in the car today, so he decided to put it on.
Woman: Yep, he’s right.

–Metro-North train, Grand Central

Overheard by: Beth

Woman #1: Yeah, I tell ya, my baby’s daddy has been the biggest jerk in the world lately.
Woman #2: Will you stop calling him that! He’s your husband. You married him like 5 years ago.

–Au Bon Pain

Overheard by: K

Girl on cell: But they’re, like, professional crackwhores!

–Bedford Park, Lehman College, the Bronx

Man: I never misled my mother. I did steal from her, but I was on crack.

–Joralemon St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Chicago Guy

Girl: Did you see that movie Crackheads on Fire?

–14th & 8th

Lady: Now she’s a big shot. She used to be a crackhead.

–Au Bon Pain, 8th St

Overheard by: the guy buying the SoBe Green Tea

Lady #1: You need a school ID?…What the hell, let’s sneak in!
Lady #2: I’ve been thrown out of better places than Columbia!

–Outside Avery Library, Columbia University

Woman #1: I think Tom was kinda weird.
Woman #2: Yeah, he was really into Nazis.
Woman #1: Yeah, there’s that.

–21st & Broadway

Woman #1: How long do you think this line will take? I really gotta go.
Woman #2: Oh, not long. Looks like five minutes.
Woman #1: Really? Looks like much longer than that– like twenty-five minutes, at least.
Woman #2: Yeah. I guess I just said that because it sounded like something I should say.

–Bathroom, Bryant Park

Overheard by: Shebrah

Greenpeace guy: Do you have a second for Greenpeace?
Woman: Meow.

–3rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: JJ

Woman: Well, you can hire kidnappers, can’t you?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Kerri