Woman #1: Hey!! How are you?! How’s the cellulite??
Woman #2: Um. Hey. It’s…fine.
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: kelly
Woman #1: Hey!! How are you?! How’s the cellulite??
Woman #2: Um. Hey. It’s…fine.
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: kelly
Woman on crowded elevator, screaming into her cell: And she know I’m a private person, so why she be sharin’ all that information like that?!
–E 26th St
Overheard by: Peter Horan
Woman: This book I’m reading says that string theory could verify how the world began!
Guy: Hello! We know how the world began. I’ve got a book you should borrow; it’s called the Bible.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?
–14th & University
Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.
–Walker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Wolf
Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.
–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nosy cinephile
Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.
–13th & University
Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?
–Office, W 36th St
Overheard by: Evan
Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?
–Walgreens, Union Square
Overheard by: Goldie
Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.
–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St
Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!
–Tompkins Square Park
Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.
–Century 21
Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!
–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shaina
Woman #1: He likes to take the kids camping every summer.
Woman #2: I never would have thought he’d enjoy all that outdoorsy stuff.
Woman #1: Well, he’s very non-Jewish.
–Ladies’ room, midtown office building
Woman on cell: Ooh, so you’re wearing your birthday suit?
Little girl, screaming: What?! Daddy is wearing his birthday suit?! It’s not his birthday!
Woman: Honey! You can’t say that this loudly on the train!
Little girl, five minutes later: So I still don’t understand what a birthday suit is.
Little boy: I told you already! It’s a suit that dad got on his birthday, and he found it in the car today, so he decided to put it on.
Woman: Yep, he’s right.
–Metro-North train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Beth
Woman #1: Yeah, I tell ya, my baby’s daddy has been the biggest jerk in the world lately.
Woman #2: Will you stop calling him that! He’s your husband. You married him like 5 years ago.
–Au Bon Pain
Overheard by: K
Girl on cell: But they’re, like, professional crackwhores!
–Bedford Park, Lehman College, the Bronx
Man: I never misled my mother. I did steal from her, but I was on crack.
–Joralemon St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chicago Guy
Girl: Did you see that movie Crackheads on Fire?
–14th & 8th
Lady: Now she’s a big shot. She used to be a crackhead.
–Au Bon Pain, 8th St
Overheard by: the guy buying the SoBe Green Tea
Lady #1: You need a school ID?…What the hell, let’s sneak in!
Lady #2: I’ve been thrown out of better places than Columbia!
–Outside Avery Library, Columbia University
Woman #1: I think Tom was kinda weird.
Woman #2: Yeah, he was really into Nazis.
Woman #1: Yeah, there’s that.
–21st & Broadway
