Volunteer with clipboard: Do you have a minute to help the environment?
Suit on cell: Fuck the environment, I hope the shit blows up!
–14 St b/w 5th & 6 Ave
Volunteer with clipboard: Do you have a minute to help the environment?
Suit on cell: Fuck the environment, I hope the shit blows up!
–14 St b/w 5th & 6 Ave
NJ driver: Hey! Red means Don’t Walk!
Girl: It’s blinking!
NJ driver: That’s the same thing!
Girl: No it’s not, dumbass!
–74th & Broadway
Tour bus driver to pedestrian: Take the great New York tour!
Man: Why the fuck would I pay to see the rats and piss I can see for free? Fuck you!
–Outside Plaza Hotel, Central Park South
New Yorker: There’s the Brooklyn Bridge over there. You can walk over it.
Tourist: Really?
New Yorker: Yep.
Tourist: And is this City Hall?
New Yorker: Yes. I don’t know this area very well…there’s Starbucks!
–City Hall Park
Tourist lady: Everyone has been so nice in New York; not what I expected.
Woman: We are nice, just self-absorbed.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Renaissance Chick
Chick #1: Omigod, like, if I like your earrings, why should I tell someone else I like your earrings? I should just tell you.
Chick #2: Omigod, I’m just like that too. But really it’s because I love getting compliments.
Chick #1: Omigod! Me, too! It’s the only reason why I say nice things to other people.
–33rd & 6th
Overheard by: Mary Beth Hanlon
Girl: Fuck nice! I am a born and bred New Yorker, I don’t care for nice. I dont’ want to be nice, I want to be right! Fuck nice!
–O’Neil’s Irish Bar ladies’ room, 3rd Avenue
Overheard by: Banana
Ghetto woman: Hey. Hey, girl. Wake up [pokes her].
Girl, waking up: What?
Ghetto woman: Your bra is showing, girl.
Girl: It’s supposed to be.
Ghetto woman: Not on the Seven Train, it’s not.
–Manhattan-bound 7 train
Overheard by: Maybe on the 6?
Old time New Yorker to EMS workers and crowd: Sit down!
Suburban princess: God! Have some compassion! Can't you see she's sick?
Old time New Yorker: Fuck you!
–Subway Series 2007, Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Amazed Mets Fan
Man, from second floor window: Bye, babe, can't wait to see you again!
Woman, passing by: You wanna fuck me again, you better get me pizza next time!
–Bradhurst Ave & 150th St
Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to 37th Street?
Hipster: Seriously?
Tourist: Well, I’m visiting…
Hipster: Look, man… You’re on 42nd Street now. Walk that way, and if the sign says 43rd Street, you’re going the wrong way. Turn around and go the other way. When the numbers go down, you’re going the right way.
Tourist: So, the streets are numerical.
Passerby #1: Jesus Christ!
Passerby #2: Oh, you people stop it! He didn’t know there would be math on his trip to the city.
–42nd & 8th
Tourist: Excuse me, but could you please tell me the time?
New Yorker: What do I look like? Big fuckin' Ben or somethin'?
–Broadway
