Rider #1: Damn, this bike seat is uncomfortable.
Rider #2: Damn, that VS model is hot.
Rider #1: Shit, my yoddle feels like it’s skewered like a lamb chop.
Rider #2: I wonder if she’ll agree to be my next wife…
–42nd & 6th
Rider #1: Damn, this bike seat is uncomfortable.
Rider #2: Damn, that VS model is hot.
Rider #1: Shit, my yoddle feels like it’s skewered like a lamb chop.
Rider #2: I wonder if she’ll agree to be my next wife…
–42nd & 6th
NYU girl #1: Okay, so we’re all really, really mad at Paul.
NYU girl #2: What’d he do?
NYU girl #1: Nothing, but it’s us versus him.
–Hayden Residence Hall, Washington Square
Chick: She has low self-esteem.
Dude: She should. She’s mad ugly.
Chick: I’ve known people who are ugly but really beautiful.
Dude: No.
Chick: No, really! I’ve seen ugly men with beautiful women and ugly women with handsome men.
Dude: I’m dumb-shallow. If you don’t look good, you can’t be my friend.
Chick: But you’re judging people. Like God.
Dude: Fuck that. I pay my own rent. I don’t need anybody. I’m straight, but all my guy friends look good. If you’re ugly, you can’t be my friend. I’m dumb-shallow. [A few minutes later] Yo, if someone says I don’t look good, somethin’s wrong with them or their eyes, ’cause I look good.
–4 train, rush hour
Overheard by: Veej
Drunk girl: [Singing.]Boyfriend: Can somebody just smack her in the face for me?
–43rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Blaze Boy
Man: You know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, right?
Six-year-old boy: No, he does exist. When I wrote him a letter and asked him for pink Plush Puppies, I got them on Christmas.
Man: Dude, then you are a serious homosexual. What kind of boy asks for pink Plush Puppies?
–Rockaway
Overheard by: Bully
Ragged old black guy with wad of cash in hand, teasing: You gonna let me cut the line, right?
Clerk: Please get on the end of the line.
Ragged old black guy: I’ma buy me that 250-dollar Blue Label up there. You gonna let me get on the front of this line, right?
Clerk: [Ignores him.]Ragged old black guy: 250 dollars for Blue Label for me to get drunk and run over some kids!
–Liquor store, 23rd & Park
Overheard by: Baby G
Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly…
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don’t you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers…
–Central Park
Overheard by: well I LOVE New Yorkers
Lady: Do I look fat in this dress?
Bystander: Yeah, you do. What? We were all thinking it!
–71 Continental Ave station
Overheard by: Kirby J
Granny: Be careful!
Man jaywalking with several bags in hand: Ma, I know how to walk the streets in New York. [Car comes to screeching halt in front of him and honks. Man yells to driver] Fuck you! [To granny] See, I’m fine.
–Main St, Flushing
Overheard by: a fully certified ny pedestrian
Old guy to wife: Why have they got the sound turned up so loud?
Movie buff: So we can hear the fucking movie over your conversation.
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: woodrow t parker
