Drunk girl: [Singing.]Boyfriend: Can somebody just smack her in the face for me?
–43rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Blaze Boy
Drunk girl: [Singing.]Boyfriend: Can somebody just smack her in the face for me?
–43rd & 3rd
Overheard by: Blaze Boy
Man: You know that Santa Claus doesn’t exist, right?
Six-year-old boy: No, he does exist. When I wrote him a letter and asked him for pink Plush Puppies, I got them on Christmas.
Man: Dude, then you are a serious homosexual. What kind of boy asks for pink Plush Puppies?
–Rockaway
Overheard by: Bully
Ragged old black guy with wad of cash in hand, teasing: You gonna let me cut the line, right?
Clerk: Please get on the end of the line.
Ragged old black guy: I’ma buy me that 250-dollar Blue Label up there. You gonna let me get on the front of this line, right?
Clerk: [Ignores him.]Ragged old black guy: 250 dollars for Blue Label for me to get drunk and run over some kids!
–Liquor store, 23rd & Park
Overheard by: Baby G
Preppy guy waiting for walk signal: Hi there.
Hot girl: Um, do I know you?
Preppy guy: No, I was just being friendly…
Hot girl: Oh, yeah? Well then why don’t you say hi to her, too? [Points to fat chick nearby.]Preppy guy, to himself: God, I hate New Yorkers…
–Central Park
Overheard by: well I LOVE New Yorkers
Lady: Do I look fat in this dress?
Bystander: Yeah, you do. What? We were all thinking it!
–71 Continental Ave station
Overheard by: Kirby J
Granny: Be careful!
Man jaywalking with several bags in hand: Ma, I know how to walk the streets in New York. [Car comes to screeching halt in front of him and honks. Man yells to driver] Fuck you! [To granny] See, I’m fine.
–Main St, Flushing
Overheard by: a fully certified ny pedestrian
Old guy to wife: Why have they got the sound turned up so loud?
Movie buff: So we can hear the fucking movie over your conversation.
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: woodrow t parker
Wife to hubby on cell during film: Will you please get off the phone?
Hubby: Why don’t you shut the fuck up and watch the movie?
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Cloodle
Chinese customer: Hey, do you work here?
Chinese salesman: Yes.
Chinese customer: Okay, are you guys going to have the PlayStation Three when it comes out?
Chinese salesman: It comes out November 17th.
Chinese customer: I know — are you guys going to have it?
Chinese salesman: It comes out November 17th.
Chinese customer: Okay… I know that. Are you guys going to sell it?
Chinese salesman: I don’t know if we have pre-orders.
Chinese customer: So, are you going to sell it on November 17th?
Chinese salesman: Yes, yes, we sell on November 17th — first come, first serve.
Chinese customer walks away mumbling: Damn, man, learn some English.
–J&R Music, City Hall
Overheard by: Hugh
Black girl: My daddy says I can’t fight her because she’s pregnant.
Wigger chick: Her face ain’t pregnant, is it?
–Subway bathroom, 4th & 6th
