Lady: Do I look fat in this dress?
Bystander: Yeah, you do. What? We were all thinking it!
–71 Continental Ave station
Overheard by: Kirby J
Lady: Do I look fat in this dress?
Bystander: Yeah, you do. What? We were all thinking it!
–71 Continental Ave station
Overheard by: Kirby J
Granny: Be careful!
Man jaywalking with several bags in hand: Ma, I know how to walk the streets in New York. [Car comes to screeching halt in front of him and honks. Man yells to driver] Fuck you! [To granny] See, I’m fine.
–Main St, Flushing
Overheard by: a fully certified ny pedestrian
Old guy to wife: Why have they got the sound turned up so loud?
Movie buff: So we can hear the fucking movie over your conversation.
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Square
Overheard by: woodrow t parker
Wife to hubby on cell during film: Will you please get off the phone?
Hubby: Why don’t you shut the fuck up and watch the movie?
–Loews Theatre, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Cloodle
Chinese customer: Hey, do you work here?
Chinese salesman: Yes.
Chinese customer: Okay, are you guys going to have the PlayStation Three when it comes out?
Chinese salesman: It comes out November 17th.
Chinese customer: I know — are you guys going to have it?
Chinese salesman: It comes out November 17th.
Chinese customer: Okay… I know that. Are you guys going to sell it?
Chinese salesman: I don’t know if we have pre-orders.
Chinese customer: So, are you going to sell it on November 17th?
Chinese salesman: Yes, yes, we sell on November 17th — first come, first serve.
Chinese customer walks away mumbling: Damn, man, learn some English.
–J&R Music, City Hall
Overheard by: Hugh
Black girl: My daddy says I can’t fight her because she’s pregnant.
Wigger chick: Her face ain’t pregnant, is it?
–Subway bathroom, 4th & 6th
Man: I’m tellin’ you, a perm makes you look good.
Woman: Goddammit, Pee Wee! No it don’t! You think you know every mothafuckin’ thing!
–Fulton & Putnam, Brooklyn
Overheard by: mira p
Water connoisseur: So, how did things go last night with… Ugh… What’s her name? Kate?
Friend: Seriously, dude, it was going so well, but then she did something really f-ing nasty.
Water connoisseur: Whaaa?
Friend: Dude, she put an unfiltered ice cube in my Brita water. She totally tainted the water. Dude, that’s just gross.
Water connoisseur: How do you know she didn’t filter the cubes?
Friend: Dude, you just can’t risk something like that…
–N train
Overheard by: Mikeyy
Girl: Wouldn’t you prefer me to be conscious?
Guy: As long as I can play with your tits, I’ll be all right.
–Library Bar, Houston & Ave A
Obnoxious teen #1: Oh my god! You like her? She’s a whore!
Obnoxious teen #2: Ummm… She’s in my math class, you know. She’s really smart.
Obnoxious teen #1: Smart and a whore. That just means she won’t get an STD.
–Nail salon, Bleecker St
Overheard by: Samideluxe
