Angry black lady: I’m gonna 69 that motherfucker!
Friend: What?!
Angry black lady: I mean, 68 or 67 or… I dunno. Star 67! That way the bitch won’t know it’s me callin’.
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: This is what makes New York City so great
Angry black lady: I’m gonna 69 that motherfucker!
Friend: What?!
Angry black lady: I mean, 68 or 67 or… I dunno. Star 67! That way the bitch won’t know it’s me callin’.
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: This is what makes New York City so great
Guy #1: So you have a girlfriend?
Guy #2: Yes, but I cheat on her. We have been dating for six years so I feel entitled,
naturally.
–43rd St & 10th Ave
Chick #1 overlooking the Women’s Wheelchair finals: Are they over there playing tennis in wheelchairs?
Chick #2: Yeah, I think they are.
Chick #1: Oh, please, you know they’re pushing those chairs with their feet.
–US Open, Queens
Overheard by: Working on my backhand
Man in Who shirt: Whoa! I didn’t see that shirt! That’s a cool one!
Man with French accent: Oh, yeah, I got this one at the show in France.
Man in Who shirt: Were they screaming as loud as we were tonight?
Man with French accent: No, we put our hands over our heads and snap our fingers and say ‘Ooh-la-la.’
His wife: What’d you have to do that for? You don’t have to fuck around with everyone on the street!
Man with French accent, now speaking in Brooklyn accent: What’s the fun of wearing a fake, five-dollar Chinatown Who shirt if I’m not gonna make fun of those assholes in the process?
–Pizza shop outside MSG after the Who show
Activist: Would you like to take a stand against gender-based violence?
Man: No thanks, I’m all set.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jujubee
Girl, squealing: You may kiss me, I consent!
Guy: I’d rather have a dwarf chew off my balls. I hate you.
–Museum of Sex
Angry guy: I can’t believe they put up fucking scaffolding on my building!
Friend: What’s the big deal?
Angry guy: Once they put it up, it never comes down. And you never see anyone ever working on it.
Friend: It’s just scaffolding. Dude, you need to get laid.
–5th Ave & 12th St
Customer #1: Hey, kid! Get the fuck out of there!
Customer #2: Don’t you dare speak to my boy like that!
Customer #1: Why? Does the little bastard not know English?
Customer #2: Shut up.
Customer #1: I guess not.
–Laundry King, Ave A
Overheard by: Usleich
Father carrying plastic pitchfork: Fuck that. Fuck that, bitch! Fuck that!
Mother in disheveled wildcat costume to crying son: It’s okay, baby. You’re not in trouble. Daddy and I are just arguing.
Father: Yeah, fuck you, Mommy. Yo, fuck that. Yo, Daddy is leavin’. Daddy is gone, boy.
Mother: It’s okay, baby.
Father to son: Shut the fuck up, faggot bitch! [Turns to mother] Don’t turn my son against me, bitch!
–24th St & 9th Ave
Guy #1: Taking family members on a sex safari is not a good idea.
Guy #2: It was hardly a sex safari, idiot. I just took my brother to a massage parlor.
–Broadway & Canal
