Valley girl: Ewww, what is that?
Boyfriend: That’s a cab.
Valley girl: I want it.
Boyfriend: You want it?
Valley girl: I want to buy it!
Boyfriend, to cabbie: How much is it?
Cabbie: Get bent.
–Broadway
Valley girl: Ewww, what is that?
Boyfriend: That’s a cab.
Valley girl: I want it.
Boyfriend: You want it?
Valley girl: I want to buy it!
Boyfriend, to cabbie: How much is it?
Cabbie: Get bent.
–Broadway
Foreign taxi driver: If you know anything, you find job in New York. If you know nothing, you drive cab.
–Upper West Side
Cab driver to woman who just cut him off: Hey lady, learn how to drive! Go back to Park Slope!
–28th & Park Ave
Overheard by: natasha
Crazy drunken taxi driver: Do chicken wings cause pregnancy?
–West Side Highway
Overheard by: amalthya
Smelly cabbie to patrons: Oh, the smell! That is just fish water. Someone threw fish water all over my cab. That is the stink.
–48th St & Lexington
Overheard by: anon
Bicycle taxi guy: Hey, you want a ride through Central Park?
Tourist: No thanks.
Bicycle taxi guy: How about a foot massage? How about some dance lessons?
–Central Park
Cabbie trapped in Bush’s traffic jam: Incredible, one man can make such fuck!
–FDR Drive
Hobo: Hey buddy, can you spare a nickel?
Cabbie: Yeah, do you accept credit cards?
Hobo: Fuck you! I am here trying to live on the streets. Just take your customer wherever she’s going…Don’t you tip his sorry ass. He’s a racist Iraqian.
–23rd & 2nd
Overheard by: Cat
[Thuggish teen prances in front of taxi.]Cabbie: Are you really that poor that you need to walk and get hit by my cab for money?!
Thuggish teen, walking to taxi window: Thats what I do! Mmmhmmm [Eats ice cream slowly at car window.]
–10th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Melissa Anne
Passenger: Is there any shops in the city that sell Statue of Liberty souvenir statues?
Cabbie: Yeah, I think there may be a shop that sells those right in Times Square.
–Times Square cab
Overheard by: John Aubin
Cabbie #1: Fuck you! Fuck you!
Cabbie #2, getting out of car: No, fuck you! You are the fucking garbage!
Random guy, leaning out window: Shut up! Shut. Up!
Cabbies: Fuck you!
–3rd Ave b/w 9th & 10th
Cabbie: Are you going this way? I’m not turning around!
Chick: What the..? I’m not hitchhiking, I’m fucking paying you, and if I tell you to turn around you damn well better turn around!
He drives away.
Chick: Yeah, fuck you too, cunty Mr. Crack Whore.
Hipster guy: Lady, you need therapy.
Chick: Man, you need to stop sucking dick. And a haircut.
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Jesia Guera
Cabbie: Where-to, lady?
Confused tourist: The Statue of Liberty.
–Rockefeller Plaza
