Grandma Got Run Over by a Wednesday One-Liner

SUV driver to pedicab trying to make its way through the snow: Hey, buddy! I got a reindeer, ya wanna buy it?

–8th Ave & 48th St

Loud 13-year-old: Shut the fuck up, it's almost Christmas.

–B Train

Overheard by: Taylor

Middle-aged guy on cell: You'll never guess what I'm doing for Christmas. You'll never guess in a million years. (pause) Uhm, yeah, that's pretty close.

–8th Ave

Guy dressed in Santa costume on cell: Stop being such a weenie!

–Midtown

Angry little girl to older brother: If you don't let Santa out of our closet I will!

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: Taylor

Posted on February 24, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Brothers, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Comebacks, Conductors, For Sale, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Street, Teens, Time, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

For Perfectly Good American Reasons

Man about to cross street to cabbie wearing turban: You terrorist! Get out of my country!
Cabbie, yelling: I'll fucking kill you!

–University Place & 14th St

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on November 13, 2009
Cabbies, KKK, Men, Murder, Stupidity, Terrorism, The Village, Threats

Where Do You Think I'm Going?

Taxi driver: Why'd you double park? I'm trying to get through here!
Guy: Why don't you go suck a dick?

–Times Square

Overheard by: Chica

Posted on October 1, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, BJs, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Comebacks, Guys, Only in New York, Penis, Questions, Times Square

WTF?

Asian cabbie: I am happy cabbie!
Man: I'm sure you are! (goes to hail another cab)
Asian cabbie: You google me! You google, happy cabbie, happy cabbie!

–Ave of the Americas

Posted on September 8, 2009
Asians, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Google, Happiness, Men, Street, Weirdness

I Love This Town

Truck driver to cab driver: What the fuck is wrong with you? Get the fuck outta the way!
Guy pushing baby stroller: Fucking cunt!

–Crosby & Houston

Posted on August 31, 2009
Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Conductors, Dads, Insults, Nicknames & name calling, Only in New York, The Village

How Some Rockettes Get Discovered

Tourist girl, almost getting hit by a taxi while crossing against the light: Eek!
Spanish lady to cab driver: Ai, are you crazy!?
Tourist girl: Oh my god, she just kicked the car!
Spanish lady: Yah, I kick car.

–46th St

Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy

Posted on April 9, 2009
Accidents, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Kick, Languages, Latinos, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Tourists

Wednesday One-Liners Learned to Drive Badly in Foreign Lands

20-something guy on cell: In the eight-minute cab ride it went from her telling him he was wearing a cheap coat to her licking his face!

–Sheep Meadow, Central Park

Overheard by: Robert

Conductor: We are not moving because of a switch problem at 125th. If you are in a hurry, there are taxis upstairs.

–Uptown D Train

Overheard by: Wes

30-something man in Santa suit on cell: Where the fuck is my fucking taxi, bitch?

–Lafayette & Spring

Cop pulling over a cabbie: Why did you honk? Where did you see danger? Where did you see danger? Besides behind your own wheel…

–Times Square

Woman cut off by cab while crossing the street: Oh my god! I'm getting cab-fucked left and right!

–Broadway & Spring

Overheard by: Marc

Posted on February 25, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cabbies, Cars and Driving, Central Park, Clothing, Conductors, Cops, Guys, Insults, Licking, Men, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Questions, Sex, Soho, Street, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

When the Russians Finally Took Over the U.S., It Wasn't Worth Anything

Old Russian cabbie: I'm George Bush.
Sleepy teen: Nice to meet you, Mr. President.
(cabbie looks satisfied and pulls away)

–Eugene O'Neill Theater

Posted on January 30, 2009
Cabbies, Names, President, Teens, Theater, Weirdness

Dumbledore: Me First!

(group of socialites-in-training exit cab)
Yuppie with dark round glasses: Here's your tip, cabbie.
Cabbie: Oh, great.
Yuppie: Well, fuck you very much.
Cabbie, driving off: Screw you, Harry Potter!

–Canal & Orchard St

Overheard by: Jynx

Posted on January 23, 2009
Books & Writing, Cabbies, Chinatown, Insults, Money & Class, Nicknames & name calling, Only in New York, Yuppies

Suddenly Sober, Alice Put Out the Cigarette

Drunk chick: I don't care if you let me I'm smoking this fucking cigarette. (lights it)
Driver: Brunettes are slutty.
Drunk chick: What?
Driver: It's okay, I like slutty chicks.

–Taxi Cab, Williamsburg

Overheard by: where's waldo?

Posted on September 20, 2008
Brooklyn, Cabbies, Compliments, Default, Drunks, Girls, Insults, Smokers & Smoking, Smoking, Weirdness

Cabbies