Cabbies

Cabbie: So, why are you going up to Columbia University anyway?
Girl: Because I have class in a couple hours.
Cabbie: With a face like yours and a rack like that, people actually take you seriously in that school?!

–Taxi ride with hot chick

Woman to cab driver who just stopped: Oh, we're not looking for a taxi.
Cab driver: Fuck you, you fucking bitch! (drives away)

–Broadway & Grand St.

Overheard by: aaaa

Guy to cabbie: Hi, can you take me to Queens?
Cabbie: Can't you see I have passengers?
Passenger, rolling down window: Hi, we're in here.
Guy: Thank you! You are an asshole!

–6th Ave & W 4th

Overheard by: James

Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.

–Herald Square

Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?

–E Houston & Ave D

Overheard by: haha

Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!

–Herald Square

Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.

–7th & 23rd

Overheard by: Stormy

Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!

–Fordham & Hoffman

Overheard by: sromeo

Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!

–Lower Manhattan

Overheard by: Steve

Short Jamaican cabbie holding up newspaper: Man, this guy must have a big dick!
Arab deli guy: No, they did it on the moon. It’s different up there.

–Deli, 28th & 10th

Overheard by: lunch on 29th

Valley girl: Ewww, what is that?
Boyfriend: That’s a cab.
Valley girl: I want it.
Boyfriend: You want it?
Valley girl: I want to buy it!
Boyfriend, to cabbie: How much is it?
Cabbie: Get bent.

–Broadway

Foreign taxi driver: If you know anything, you find job in New York. If you know nothing, you drive cab.

–Upper West Side

Cab driver to woman who just cut him off: Hey lady, learn how to drive! Go back to Park Slope!

–28th & Park Ave

Overheard by: natasha

Crazy drunken taxi driver: Do chicken wings cause pregnancy?

–West Side Highway

Overheard by: amalthya

Smelly cabbie to patrons: Oh, the smell! That is just fish water. Someone threw fish water all over my cab. That is the stink.

–48th St & Lexington

Overheard by: anon

Bicycle taxi guy: Hey, you want a ride through Central Park?
Tourist: No thanks.
Bicycle taxi guy: How about a foot massage? How about some dance lessons?

–Central Park

Cabbie trapped in Bush’s traffic jam: Incredible, one man can make such fuck!

–FDR Drive

Hobo: Hey buddy, can you spare a nickel?
Cabbie: Yeah, do you accept credit cards?
Hobo: Fuck you! I am here trying to live on the streets. Just take your customer wherever she’s going…Don’t you tip his sorry ass. He’s a racist Iraqian.

–23rd & 2nd

Overheard by: Cat