Dude: It was just so scary to overhear people talking on their cell phones saying all those things you associate with disaster.
Chick: Yeah.
Male passerby on cell: The problem with so many women is just that they don’t have the right amount of support! I know more women who live miserably because they are wearing the wrong cup size! Just get measured!
–Central Park South
Girlfriend: And ya know what? Just fuck you, okay? If that’s what you think, fuck you!
(Boyfriend sneezes)
Girlfriend: Bless you.
Boyfriend: Thank you.
Girlfriend: Awwwww… that’s the nicest conversation we’ve ever had!
–Central Park
Barefoot girl #1: What's wrong with your feet? Why are you bending them like that?
Barefoot girl #2: I'm not. I just have very high arches.
Barefoot girl #1: No, that's freaky. You look like you're wearing high heels! You have Barbie feet!
Barefoot girl #2: Well, obviously then I am the ideal of feminine beauty. I also don't have a vagina.
–Central Park
Headline by: g
Runners-Up:
· “But My Boyfriend Says He Can Work Around That.” – space coyote
· “If You Were the Ideal Of Feminine Beauty, You Wouldn’t Have a Mouth.” – LPS
· “It’s Okay. Ken’s Only Got a Bump.” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Or a Soul.” – fresca
· “Perfect for Men Who Have Lumps Instead Of Penises” – ktg
· “Pre-Op Trannies Are So Hung Up on Their Looks.” – Ice Cream Scoopy Doo!
Daughter: You’re always humming that McDonalds song.
Mother: Huh?
Daughter: You know…”da da da da da I’m loooovin’ it.”
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh.
–Central Park
Man #1: I am getting ready to throw my annual party soon.
Man #2: Dude, just remember to invite women this year.
–Central Park
Brainiac: You want self-esteem? Just go in there with a thirteen-inch cock. Now there’s your self-esteem!
–58th & 5th
Overheard by: Jodi B’holm
Girl: I would totally eat the shit out of a cupcake!
–St. Mark's Place
Mom to little boy crying after dropping popsicle: I'm not buying you another one!
–Central Park
Overheard by: Katherine
Thin blonde girl: I love food. I wish I could make love to this cookie…
–NYU
Very hot girl in expensive outfit to guy walking away: Oh, so looking at candy and toys is more important than my need to go to the bathroom?
–82nd & Central Park West
Australian tourist to hobo on bench: Oh, shit, where am I?
Hobo on bench: Welcome to hell, lady.
Australian tourist to hobo: No, mate, I just flew in from there yesterday.
–Central Park
Woman on cell: Number one: I'll tell you what you can do with that fish. You can shove it right up your ass! (pause) Number two: You know what you can do with that fish? You can shove it right up your ass!
–Steps, The Met
Overheard by: gossipgirlish
Boy to mother: Mama, can we surprise grandpa with a catfish?
–Central Park East
Overheard by: walter
Woman reading map: No dead fish in Nebraska.
–D Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl to guy friend at hip hop show: That chick just sprayed her coochie with perfume. Now it smells like a fish died and the other fish sent flowers.
–Voodoo Lounge, 1st Ave
Fat girl to herself: Walk by the cakes, walk by the cakes.
–Grand Central
Sales guy: We've got your whale, now you want to get a cupcake?
–FAO Schwartz
College girl to friend: Yay! Someone is guarding the queer cupcakes!
–Lerner Hall, Columbia University
Little girl: I want ice cream! (mother keeps walking) You're fired!
–125th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
