Girl #1: Look at that guy in the gray suit.
Girl #2: My sister knows him.
Girl #1: He's cute, what does he do?
Girl #2: I think he is a social worker.
Girl #1: Ah–full heart, empty wallet. (chuckles)
Girl #2: Oh man, that's cold.
Girl #1 (looking at girl #2 with surprise): What? if a certain lifestyle is important to you…we shouldn't pretend it isn't. I'm not kidding myself anymore.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Darren
Little kid: You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.
Mom: No, honey, that’s not how it works.
Little kid: But I’ll show you mine…
Mom: They’re called privates for a reason — you’re not supposed to show people.
–Restroom, Central Park
Overheard by: LSB
Male African-American bicycle-taxi driver: You see all these white people here? All these white people is from Europe! You know that story?
Female African-American park guard: No…
Male African-American bicycle-taxi driver: Yeah!
–Central Park
Overheard by: white New Yorker
Hobo: Can I have a cigarette?
Girl: Sorry, I just bummed my last one to that guy.
Guy: Dude, you just said “bum” to a bum.
–Central Park
Dad on bike: Look at the ducks!
Excited little boy: Can we run them over?
–Central Park
Crying woman: You fucked her and then you fucked me.
Man: But baby, I knew it was wrong at the time!
–Central Park South
Overheard by: Lily
Hipster to friend having problems with ATM card: Maybe it's for normal people and you're just abnormally large.
–Village ATM
Overheard by: rafa
Overenthusiastic father of new skater: Oh, you know, it's her first time, so I wanted to make sure that I was there to help her through it so that it'd be extra-special for her.
–Wollman Rink, Central Park
Overweight woman: Where's Wang? Guys, where's Wang?
–Hard Rock Cafe
Tourist mom: It's not big enough to impress me.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Not The Empire State, Surely
Loud woman: It was a three-legged pussy!
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Rachel K
Modern literature professor, after ending class early: Well, that's it, I've blown my load.
–Columbia University
High school dancer #1: Like, oh my god, I had the weirdest dream the other night… I was fucking Brendan Urie from Panic! at the Disco.
High school dancer #2: Wow… I need details! Did you get wet? Was he on top? Was I in the bed?
–Central Park
Overheard by: thatgirlrightthere
NYU girl #1: I totally want to push that kid in the water.
NYU girl #2: What? Why?
NYU girl #1: Just to watch him drown.
Little boy: What?
NYU girls #1 and #2 (in unison): Nothing.
–Turtle Pond, Central Park
Overheard by: Oh boy
Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Laura Grossman
Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?
–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez
Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.
–Upper East Side
Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.
–Broadway & Wooster
Overheard by: ClassyGal
Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.
–Central Park
