Guy #1, as younger guy walks by in very long dress shirt and shorts: Is he wearing pants?
Guy #2: I certainly hope not!
–54th & 9th
Guy #1, as younger guy walks by in very long dress shirt and shorts: Is he wearing pants?
Guy #2: I certainly hope not!
–54th & 9th
Teen #1: I was just talking to a girl in the bathroom… She was wearing a horrible shirt.
Teen #2: What did you say to her?
Teen #1: I said her shirt was nice.
–W 32nd St
Overheard by: NG
Woman: Did you see Lady Gaga when she wore that meat costume?
Man: That's one crazy bitch. I'd tenderloin the shit out of her.
–Outside Toys-R-Us, Time Square
Overheard by: Damien
Ghetto girl #1 looking at lingerie: Who has the time, really?
Ghetto girl #2: Oh, girl, I do! Hello! You can lick me outta this, you ain't even gotta take it off.
–Harlem
Overheard by: Brooke
Customer: No, I don't want to dry it here. Thank you.
Laundromat owner: Why not?
Customer: It shrinks in the dryer and I don't want to go out with it like that.
Laundromat owner: Ah, what does it matter if it shrinks, man?
–Laundromat, 8th Ave & 20th St
Overheard by: Katherine
Young woman, in whiny nasal voice, about man next to her: Rich, you should wear the Pac Man costume this weekend, and get totally drunk!
Male voice coming out of yellow Pac Man mouth: Yeah.
–71st St b/w 1st & 2nd
Girl: What kind of fur can we use that is only shaved and doesn't hurt the animals, like shearling, and not skinned?
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Anonymous
Man to ladies: So, I walk in the room and I see one guy shaving the other guy's balls.
–Forest Hills, Queens
Overheard by: CandyPerfume
Guy to girl: I just shaved my balls and now I'm itching all over.
–Houston St
Overheard by: pubey-free
Person #1, in line for fitting rooms at H&M: How many people actually buy these clothes?
Person #2: A lot.
Person #1: But we live in Westbury, we'll never get to wear these.
–34th St & 7th Ave
Diner: How adorable! Confirmation?
Mother, with two adorable little girls in white dresses: Communion. No, wait. Baptism.
Diner: Whatever. I'm Jewish.
–Pizzeria Uno, 81st St & Columbus
Skinny obnoxious blonde: Sheryl had a shirt that said "I love Wayne's dick." And I was like "Sheryl, why are you wearing that to the outback?"
–AMC Movie Theater
Girl to guy: Epic fail, you have a non-working dick.
–2nd Ave & 9th St
Guy on cell: Hello, this is sweet dick. Can I speak to tight pussy?
–West Village
Man to another: So last night, I was playing with my dick, and…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dusty F.
Man on cell: He don't answer to "Leon" no more. He is now "Dick Dastardly."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Muttley
