Wednesday One-Liners Without Emotional Attachment: Myth or Reality?

Dressed up overweight 20-something girl to another: We're in our 20s. We're like supposed to be slutty, right?

–Norman & Diamond

Overheard by: Guess I missed the memo 20-something girl

College girl to another: You gotta hit it and quit it, like a dude!

–W Broadway & 108th St

Overheard by: Tess

Janky fat woman: He never told me not to tramp!

–5th Ave

Overheard by: Rob

Loud thug with neck tattoos on cell: You know Stud is my son, dude. Stud just wanna hump on women all day.

–Deli, Myrtle Ave, Fort Greene

Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton

Hipster chick to another: I was wasted! Then I saw him in daylight and said "Holy shit!"

–Havemeyer, Grand Street, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Miss Heather

Lawyerly woman to another: I told him that just because I want to fuck does not mean that we have to love each other.

–Foley Square

Overheard by: Julio

Random guy to cute girl: Good luck, honey. What you wake up with, you're stuck with.

–Jimmy Steiny's, Hyatt Street, Staten Island

Posted on March 11, 2009
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Delis, Fat People, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Hipsters, Hook Ups, Horny, Lawyers, Love, On Cell, Parents, Physical appearance, Promiscuity, Relationships, Sex, Sorority Girls, Staten Island, Street, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires, Women

Wednesdays Will Let Go Of the One-Liners When They're Damn Good and Ready

Train conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, if you see the doors are closing, don't throw yourselves at them.

–Uptown 6 Train

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, use all train doors. This is not a high school cafeteria line. Use all doors!

–C Train

Conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors. Please. Folks, I am not kidding, stand clear of the closing doors. Unless you like that whole cut-in-half look, then go right ahead and stand in the way.

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: queen

Conductor: We are not auditioning for any amateur doormen today. Please let go of the closing doors.

–1 Train

Overheard by: RG

Door controller: Ladies and gentlemen, if you keep the doors open we will be here till Christmas. So don't do it.

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Vedant

Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen in the first car, please let the doors close. (people keep the doors open) Excuse me, please let the doors close. (people keep the doors open) Ladies and gentlemen, if you do not let the doors close, I will bite you. (doors close)

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: amused passenger

Posted on March 11, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Subway conductors, Threats, Time, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners

You've Read the Autobiography Everybody Hates Christ, Right?

Guy #1: It's a great book; this guy is like my second favorite author…you know, after Jesus.
Guy #2: Totally man, totally.

–Atlantic Ave Subway station

Overheard by: Ali

Posted on March 10, 2009
Books & Writing, Compare/Contrast, Guys, Jesus, Subway Stations

You Could Floss with These Babies

Guy: One day I'm just going to leave a pube in your bed.
Girl: What if I think it's mine?
Guy: Ewww!
Girl: What? I bet my pubes are cleaner than yours.
Guy: What are you talking about? My pubes are squeaky clean!

–Third North Dorms, NYU

Posted on March 10, 2009
Cleanliness, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Hair, NYU, Private Parts

Here's Ray-J to Explain

Rapper dude: That's Rugged N Raw.
Girl outside: Ew! I don't watch porn!
Rapper dude: No, Rugged N Raw. He's an emcee.
Girl outside: What's the difference?

–The Pyramid Night Club

Posted on March 9, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Guys, Music, Porn

Get That Triumph-of-the-Human-Spirit Taste Out Of My Mouth

20-something guy: I saw Wall-E this weekend. (pause) Then I saw Wanted to balance it out.

–Deutsche Bank Elevator

Overheard by: Katerina S,

Posted on March 8, 2009
Bank, Compare/Contrast, Elevators, Guys, Movies

So You Slept with One and Never Called the Others Back

Hipster #1: I mean, if I were an asshole, I just would have slept with all three of them.
Hipster #2: Yeah, but you're not. You're a nice guy.

–Bedford Ave & Grand

Overheard by: yeah, the nicest.

Posted on March 7, 2009
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Hipsters, Insults, Promiscuity

In the Way That England and Ireland Are Pretty Much Alike

Woman: Well, technically I live in New Jersey.
British guy: Is that like in New York?
Woman: Pretty much, yeah.

–L Train

Posted on March 7, 2009
Brits, Compare/Contrast, Foreigners, On the Subway, Questions, Women

As I Explained in My Last Biology Paper

Asian guy coming from gym: I swear, you're like anorexic.
Skinny girl coming from gym: Oh my god, I would much rather be bulimic than anorexic, you get to eat so much!

–Washington Mews, NYU

Posted on March 6, 2009
Asians, Compare/Contrast, Food, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, NYU, Physical appearance, Skinny People, Wishes & desires

Something Lighthearted, Like Saving Private Ryan?

Nine-year-old girl #1: You don't know what it's like because your father didn't die.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Yeah, I never had a father.
Nine-year-old girl #1: Yeah, so he never died. Hey, you wanted to rent a movie tonight…what do you want to see?

–Bedford Ave & N 6th St

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on March 1, 2009
Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Death, Family Ties, Kids, Wishes & desires

Compare/Contrast

Here's Ray-J to Explain