60-year-old lady: You have the hottest cock I’ve seen since Woodstock 1969.
24-year-old guy: Oh, yeah?
60-year-old lady: Did you know I banged Mick Jagger?
–88th & 2nd
Overheard by: MX
60-year-old lady: You have the hottest cock I’ve seen since Woodstock 1969.
24-year-old guy: Oh, yeah?
60-year-old lady: Did you know I banged Mick Jagger?
–88th & 2nd
Overheard by: MX
Girl #1: What do you mean I’m ‘the cutest thing ever’? I’m 21! What am I, a puppy?!
Girl #2: All I meant was you wear colorful clothes and smile a lot!
–Urban Outfitters
Overheard by: Abram
Girl: If I were stranded somewhere with a dead hooker in my trunk, you’re still the person I’d call.
Guy: To this day, that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received.
–1020 Bar, 110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Old man picks loose string off back of woman’s coat: You’ve got something there… Ah, now you’re perfect!
Woman: Oh, well, thank you!
Old man: You believe that and you’ll believe anything.
–Stromboli’s Pizza, St. Mark’s & 1st Ave
Overheard by: shankalicious
Headline by: greg
Runners-Up:
· “Like Creationism…” – Drew
· “Now hold still while I examine you for breast cancer” – Zorak
· “On an unrelated note, my penis cures cancer” – Wes Mantooth
· “Puppetmaster IV: The Rude Awakening” – Chris
· “That’s What God Said To Adam & Eve, Too” – fritzy
Woman in wheelchair: These models are fantastic!
Man pushing her: These aren’t models.
Woman in wheelchair: Oh, no!
–Bodies Exhibit, South St Seaport
Overheard by: Jablayblay
Dude #1: Whoa, this year is double-oh-seven.
Dude #2: That’s so freaking cool.
Chick: I don’t get it. How is that cooler than last year being double-oh-six?
Dude #1: Because Alec Trevelyan was a dick.
Dude #2: … Did you ever know that you’re my hero?
–Carlyle Court, 25 Union Square West
Girl: Ellen DeGeneres is pretty funny.
Boy: And by funny you mean what?
Girl: … A lesbian.
–10th & 5th
Brooklyn guy: Cute kid you got there. How old is he?
Short-haired mom: She is 20 months.
Brooklyn guy: Oh, ‘she.’ Sorry, I didn’t realize…
Short-haired mom: That’s because gender is performance.
Brooklyn guy: [Sips coffee.]
–Vox Pop, Cortelyou Rd
Overheard by: the nearby barista
Preppy girl with Starbucks cup: That was some shitty-ass coffee.
Preppy guy: Speaking of shitty, Cap’n Nemo’s got nothin’ on me. I shat a white whale in there. It was two feet long and, I’m tellin’ you, it was white! Like, white and one solid length! Took it first try, though. They have good toilets.
–PATH, Christopher St station
Overheard by: Zenana
Crazy-haired woman: There’s lots of elderly people around here.
Lady: Well, it’s life.
Crazy-haired woman: Yes, but specifically in the San Fernando Valley.
Lady: Mmm-hmmm.
Crazy-haired woman: Where are you from?
Lady: New York.
Crazy-haired woman: You must be Jewish or Italian — which?
Lady: I’m Jewish.
Crazy-haired woman: Oh, the best people and the best meat.
Lady: Excuse me?
Crazy-haired woman: The Jews — they’re the best people and the best meat.
–Pharmacy
