Guido: Why don’t you get a real job?
Meter maid: I got a real job. And I give real tickets.
–Sheepshead Bay
Overheard by: Dan Hughes
Guido: Why don’t you get a real job?
Meter maid: I got a real job. And I give real tickets.
–Sheepshead Bay
Overheard by: Dan Hughes
Girl #1: Look, that policewoman has a seeing-eye dog! Isn’t that cool?
Girl #2: Oh yeah, cool, they have them here for that anti-terrorism shit.
Cop lady: …Is she friggin’ kidding me?
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Tara B
Girl #1: I don’t watch CSI, I watch Law and Order.
Cop #1 & #2: Yes!
Girl #2: Can you get us tickets?
Cop #1: Yeah, if you give us $100 each.
Girl #2: How long have you been cops?
Cop #2: 2 years.
Girl #1: Damn, the police on SVU are way more experienced. That show’s been running, like, 9 years.
Cop #1: Yes, but the cops on SVU are detectives.
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: Emma Marie
Tourist guy: Officer, what’s happening?
Cop guy: What’s happening? Rush hour’s happening!
–Times Square station
Teen boy: I did the stupidest thing yesterday.
Teen girl: What?
Teen boy: I went up to the cops with my bag open, and I was like,
“Wanna search me? Wanna search me?” and they were like, “Okay.”
Teen girl: Ha, ha. You busted.
Teen boy: Yeah. They took half my condoms but they left everything
else.
–40th Street station
Guy: It was a good night! We saw the parade…we got drunk…I made out with a pregnant nun…
–Ben’s Pizza, Spring Street
Overheard by: A. Yanishevsky
Drunk girl: Hey, Red #2, where’s the rest of the pack?
Red crayon guy: Ooh, you’re a regular Dean Martin, aren’t you?
–Puck Fair, Lafayette Street
Guy on cell: Trick or treat, fucking witch!
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Pedro Lebron
Guy #1: I know it’s Halloween and this is the West Village, but do you faggots have to block the entire sidewalk?
Guy #2: Oh go sit on a cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, you’d like that.
–Christopher & Bedford
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Chick on cell: Wait, wait, he put what where?…Uh huh…Well it was
Halloween last night…And then he did what? He ate it? That must have tasted like shit, literally!
–F train
Hipster girl: You know that guy Adam? That I….screwed? Well, he got arrested on Halloween for having a gun that looked like a gun.
–Mercer & Waverly
Walkie-talkie: Need backup on 49th & Broadway…
Cop #1: 49th & Broadway! Isn’t that us?
Cop #2: No, they’ve already got someone there.
Cop #1: Yeah, us…You’re an idiot.
–D train
Overheard by: Nate Luce
A hobo has a cardboard sign that says “Ninjas killed parents, need money for Kugn [sic] Fu lessons.”
A cop comes up, and the hobo says: I don’t know why. I’ve already had five police come by and bother me today.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Casey
(cf. This guy.)
