Chick: How much for a ride?
Hansom guy: 45 dollars.
Lady cop: This is the last time I’m going to tell you, get off this street with this horse. If I see you one more time on this street I’m taking the horse and I’m locking you up! You hear me? I’ll take this horse and I’ll lock you up!
Hansom guy: Ha, ha! Fuckin’ bitch.
–50th & 5th
Suit on cell: …and I appreciate that. Now get out of my house before I have you arrested.
–Penn Station
Guido: Why don’t you get a real job?
Meter maid: I got a real job. And I give real tickets.
–Sheepshead Bay
Overheard by: Dan Hughes
Girl #1: Look, that policewoman has a seeing-eye dog! Isn’t that cool?
Girl #2: Oh yeah, cool, they have them here for that anti-terrorism shit.
Cop lady: …Is she friggin’ kidding me?
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Tara B
Girl #1: I don’t watch CSI, I watch Law and Order.
Cop #1 & #2: Yes!
Girl #2: Can you get us tickets?
Cop #1: Yeah, if you give us $100 each.
Girl #2: How long have you been cops?
Cop #2: 2 years.
Girl #1: Damn, the police on SVU are way more experienced. That show’s been running, like, 9 years.
Cop #1: Yes, but the cops on SVU are detectives.
–50th & 6th
Overheard by: Emma Marie
Tourist guy: Officer, what’s happening?
Cop guy: What’s happening? Rush hour’s happening!
–Times Square station
Teen boy: I did the stupidest thing yesterday.
Teen girl: What?
Teen boy: I went up to the cops with my bag open, and I was like,
“Wanna search me? Wanna search me?” and they were like, “Okay.”
Teen girl: Ha, ha. You busted.
Teen boy: Yeah. They took half my condoms but they left everything
else.
–40th Street station
Guy: It was a good night! We saw the parade…we got drunk…I made out with a pregnant nun…
–Ben’s Pizza, Spring Street
Overheard by: A. Yanishevsky
Drunk girl: Hey, Red #2, where’s the rest of the pack?
Red crayon guy: Ooh, you’re a regular Dean Martin, aren’t you?
–Puck Fair, Lafayette Street
Guy on cell: Trick or treat, fucking witch!
–20th & Park
Overheard by: Pedro Lebron
Guy #1: I know it’s Halloween and this is the West Village, but do you faggots have to block the entire sidewalk?
Guy #2: Oh go sit on a cock.
Guy #1: Yeah, you’d like that.
–Christopher & Bedford
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Chick on cell: Wait, wait, he put what where?…Uh huh…Well it was
Halloween last night…And then he did what? He ate it? That must have tasted like shit, literally!
–F train
Hipster girl: You know that guy Adam? That I….screwed? Well, he got arrested on Halloween for having a gun that looked like a gun.
–Mercer & Waverly
