Girl #1: Everyone always criticizes my choice in men. I get so sick of it; there’s nothing wrong with Tom.
Girl #2: He looks like Hitler, he drools, he’s always whining and making high-pitched noises, and everyone keeps putting him down, and he never even stands up for himself.
Girl #1: He may be a total loser and a freak but he still has some redeeming qualities. Plus if I didn’t date him no one else would.
Tom: Thanks.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Upstate Gambler
Teenage girl #1: I totally learned something at Coney Island the other day!
Teenage girl #2: Yeah?
Teenage girl #1: If you are walking on a sidewalk in Coney Island with a boy, and he has you walking closest to the street, that means he wants to sell you.
Teenage girl #2: Sell you?
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, but it only works in Coney Island. Joel told me. He was walking closest to the street. I think he really likes me!
–Q train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: jesse
Girl #1: Having a boyfriend then just wouldn’t have fit into my schedule.
Girl #2: Which was: get up late, smoke pot, and go back to bed.
Girl #1: And watch Roswell!
—Pirates of the Caribbean 2 advance screening, the Zeigfield
Overheard by: Nick Draven
Girl: He took me to a Japanese restaurant. I got the chicken karaoke.
–78th & Broadway
Overheard by: E HAGEN
20-Something girl: So, is Alabama in Kentucky?
–27th & 1st
Overheard by: interlard
Early-20’s woman: The Himalayas aren’t a real place. They’re like Narnia.
–1st & 1st
Ghetto girl: In British Whose Line Is It Anyway?, do they speak English?
–75th St
Guy: My dad’s dating Jabba the Hutt with red eyebrows.
Girl: No!
–Myrtle & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sara Jerome
Woman: You know how the Germans continue to punish the Jews? They date them.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Metro New York lady: Is your girlfriend coming today?
AM New York man: I ain’t got none of those.
–Union Square
Guy: And there’s one more thing you could say. It’s “I love you.”
Girl, looking through her purse: Ha ha, I know, one sec.
–Tompkins Square Park
Queer #1: My friend Sarah is usually into guido jock boys, and it never works out. Now she’s with a short guy with a belly who’s losing his hair, and she’s never been happier.
Queer #2: I guess, but having a short fat guy with a small dick fuck your asshole until it bleeds just isn’t the same.
–51st & 9th
Girl on cell: The alcoholic who waved a shotgun at you on Valentine’s Day? That’s who’s taking you to the Al-Anon meeting?
–Bowery & Houston
Girl on cell: The two guys you slept with — their friend told me to tell you that he has herpes.
–42rd & Lex
